uncover the truth...in me

final

2005-12-27T20:06:00.000-08:00

this will be my last entry for this blog...i'm in the process of creating my new blog for new memories...i'll be leaving this blog behind already for a new beginning..naks!!!=)

la lang...i haven't been updating my blog lately...sa dami ng ngyari at daming ginagawa but for the past few months of this year..i can say that i am happy...daming bago so i'll carry it over to my new blog...hehehehe

bye for now and i'll update you with my new blog soon...

Happy holidays!!!

1st outing ng barkada

2005-11-02T18:22:00.000-08:00

1st outing ng barkada!!!

1st outing ko na walang ibang kasama kungdi ang bagong tropa...grabe ang saya!!!ayun, last friday oct 28, trick or treat sa office..since may sakit ang anakis ang mommy ang nagikot sa iba't ibang dept para mangolekta ng mga candies and chocolates...hehehehe ayun wagi sa dami ng nakuha...hehehehe...sympre mga 5pm have to pack my things at imimeet ko pa si veth sa may festi...don kami imimeet ng bagong tropahan...walang makakapigil kahit umuulan...kailangan matuloy ang swimming..hahahahahaha ayun..sympre kahit may face paint ako sa right cheek eh deadma byahe ako papuntang festi na may drawing sa mukha...cute naman eh yung dolphin mukhang buteteng kulay blue..hahahahaha so ayun walang tanggalan ng paint gang di nakikita ng tropa kaya deadma lakad sa festi tambay sa sbc walang pake...ayun mga 9pm na dumating ang grupo..eto na diretso na laguna!!!mga 1030 nakahanap din ng place...sa katatawad ayun pumayag din sila..sympre pgdating palitan na ng swimming attire...ayun kahit malamig at gutom talon na sa swimming pool kahit malamig...grabe nginig tlga...pero wala pa rin pasaway eh gusto mag swimming eh..hehehehe ayun umahon nung luto na ang kanin...hahahaha kainan na muna at konting inom...ayun inintroduce ulet ang xtra joss at san mig light combi...sympre kami lng ni jai ang uminom non...kaya ayun gising ulet ako gang makauwi the next day..hahahaha kapalit lng sakit ng ulo...hataw ang 1st outing ng barkada...sayawan...swimming to the max...sympre di mawawala ang kantahan...at ang matindi sa lahat ang kwentuhan tungkol sa puso gang umaga...hahahahahaha ayus tlga yung tropang yon...sana maulet!!!!
ang mga pictures???try ko upload bukas...sana mapadala na ni veth!!!yuhuuuuuuuuu!!!!hehehehe

goodbye...juana

2005-09-28T13:27:00.000-07:00

my song....

Goodbye-Juana

Didn't mean to hurt you badly
Don't think that i am fooling around with you
So sorry for the time you've wasted on me
So sorry for the things that you went through

But I know that the problem's within me
You're so nice but your love don't deserve me
Or maybe I'm just so scared to fall in love again

I can still remember the days
So many times I've been hurt
So much trust I put in a relationship
So much suffering i've got and the pain still remain

You know i like you but i don't wanna take the risk
So confused and i don't know how to deal with it
Need some time for a while before i give my heart away

Don't say goodbye, don't say goodbye
I need some time for a while before i give my heart away
Don't say goodbye, don't say goodbye
I need some time for a while before i give my heart away

Now I know I wasn't thinking before
That's why i'm always ending up with Mr. Wrong
Learning from the past don't wanna make a mistake
It could be Mr. Right or could be a fake.

first barkada night

2005-09-26T16:49:00.000-07:00

Sept 24-First barkada night…Mejo nagdadalawang isip akong pumunta sa bday non ni bochok kasi all along akala namin sa may casimiro lng…pero ayun nga eh sa probinsya pala sya…hehehe ang layo eh Fairview…so ayun, sympre natuloy pa rin ako kahit na wala si jai..susko nerbyos ito…kasi first time kong sumama sa knila na wala si jai…si jai lng naman nagpakilala sa akin sa mga yon…pero ayus lng ok naman yung grupo na yon eh mababaet naman sila di naman ako na-op or something..sobrang alaga ako don …na sa sobrang kapamilya na eh napa-jam tuloy ako sa knila..ayun napakanta ang lola mo..kahiya…di na kasi ako sanay sa mga ganon pero namiss ko yon…yung magka-banda ulet…hmmm Sali na lng kaya ako sa knila hahahahahahaha

Basta ang ending…happy ako..gang ngayon….=)

he's just not into you part 2

2005-09-22T10:51:00.001-07:00

went home early again yesterday...totally bored with my work...what's new???hehehe all I did yesterday was to look for an opening sa jobstreet. Checked my previous applications hopefully may tumawag na at ng makalipat na…haaay

he’s not into you part 2…

talked to him last night…sympre kahit unlimited ako di ako nagtxt sa kanya maghapon…as in comatose!!!nagtxt sya lunch time…di ako nagreply….hmmmm….tapos around 7pm nagtxt ulet house na raw sya..kung pwede daw tumawag…after 30 mins saka ako nagreply…hehehehe told him to call after 5 mins…so ayun, hintay na lng ako…sympre mga 830 na di pa natawag…so ask ko na sya kung tatawag pa..ayun, tumawag na..nakatulog daw kasi sya…hala!!!! So sabi ko cge tulog ka na lng…mga 15 mins ata kaming nagdidiskusyon kung ibababa na ang phone o hindi..kasi nagiinarte ang lolo na baka daw may ginagawa ako…o baka ayaw ng nanay ko..at kung ano ano pa….heeeeeeellllloooooo patatawagin ko ba sya kung busy ako!!!haaay!!! so ayun natuloy ang usapan….parang baligtad tlga ako yung tanong ng tanong…sya wala lang minsan lng magkwnto…mygulay eh kung di ako magiisip ng topic wala kaming paguusapan…kaya tuloy pati ex nya eh tinanong ko na…=b

pero eto yung the best sa usapan namin…biglang pumasok sa kwarto nanay ko at nagtanong sa akin kung nanliligaw daw ba sya…so binato ko yung tanong sa knya…ayun nagulat pero sagot nya na parang masyado pa raw mabilis kung manliligaw sya…sa ngayon nakikipag kaibigan lng muna sya…ayus noh?! So cge sabi ko tama yan…para no expectations..steady lng…ayun mga 10pm nagbabye na ko…ang sagot nya…..ok…tapos baba na ng phone. =s

he's just not into you part 2

2005-09-22T10:51:00.000-07:00

went home early again yesterday...totally bored with my work...what's new???hehehe all I did yesterday was to look for an opening sa jobstreet. Checked my previous applications hopefully may tumawag na at ng makalipat na…haaay

he’s not into you part 2…

talked to him last night…sympre kahit unlimited ako di ako nagtxt sa kanya maghapon…as in comatose!!!nagtxt sya lunch time…di ako nagreply….hmmmm….tapos around 7pm nagtxt ulet house na raw sya..kung pwede daw tumawag…after 30 mins saka ako nagreply…hehehehe told him to call after 5 mins…so ayun, hintay na lng ako…sympre mga 830 na di pa natawag…so ask ko na sya kung tatawag pa..ayun, tumawag na..nakatulog daw kasi sya…hala!!!! So sabi ko cge tulog ka na lng…mga 15 mins ata kaming nagdidiskusyon kung ibababa na ang phone o hindi..kasi nagiinarte ang lolo na baka daw may ginagawa ako…o baka ayaw ng nanay ko..at kung ano ano pa….heeeeeeellllloooooo patatawagin ko ba sya kung busy ako!!!haaay!!! so ayun natuloy ang usapan….parang baligtad tlga ako yung tanong ng tanong…sya wala lang minsan lng magkwnto…mygulay eh kung di ako magiisip ng topic wala kaming paguusapan…kaya tuloy pati ex nya eh tinanong ko na…=b

pero eto yung the best sa usapan naming…biglang pumasok sa kwarto nanay ko at nagtanong sa akin kung nanliligaw daw ba sya…so binato ko yung tanong sa knya…ayun nagulat pero sagot nya na parang masyado pa raw mabilis kung manliligaw sya…sa ngayon nakikipag kaibigan lng muna sya…ayus noh?! So cge sabi ko tama yan…para no expectations..steady lng…ayun mga 10pm nagbabye na ko…ang sagot nya…..ok…tapos baba na ng phone. =s

he's just not into you

2005-09-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

“He’s just not into you”….

Last week when jai told be about the topic discussed in Oprah…I got interested and research about it…It was about a book entitled “ He’s just not into you” …every signs which tells you if the guy is serious about you or not…Read some excerpts from the book and the more I read about it the more I think I became cautious of every action of the guys. Minsan nga parang negarive na eh kasi you feel like guys are just trying to play with you….hmmm…Suddenly the happy mood I’ve been experiencing started to fade away…kasi mukhang he’ s just not into me….daming excuses…yung tipong kung di mo ittxt di magttxt back or sometimes kahit itxt mo di magrereply…tapos mga after 10 years saka magrereply tapos sasabihin nya kasi …walang load…lowbatt…or even di ko malabas yung cellphone kasi baka manakawan kasi asa byahe…hmmm asa byahe from 5 ot 1030pm????? Talked to his friend last night…thanks to Globe sa unlimited txt at txt to millions kami…buti pa nga to masipag magreply…anyways, ayun nga sabi nya baka kasi tamad lng magload…(minus 10 pogi points )or busy with work…hmmmm parang he’s not busy kasi nung kausap ko sya…di daw muna sya reply kasi watch muna na sya ng game don sa office…(minus 1000 points)…ika nga don sa book…if he’s really into you no matter what it takes…when man likes you he will do the work…kung ayaw may dahilan kung gusto may paraan…asa 1st stage pa lng kami…di na sya persistent…tsktsk…so I guess I have to drop this case na bago pati friendship naming masira….=(

happy

2005-09-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

I’ve been finding myself smiling everyday lately…greeted every friend a Good morning everyday thru txt or IM…sinasamantala lng unlimited ng globe hehehehe. I don’t know why..but I just feel happy about how things been going on with my life…=) sympre may mga sad moments pa rin like pag naiisip ko ngayon yung work ko…haay sobrang bored na ko I really want to get out of it already…kya kung san san na ako nagapply thru internet and friends…I’m in a good company…yes…pero with type of work I’m into…di ko forte eh…di lng tlga ito yung gusto kong gawin…but I had no choice at that time…and I think it’ll take some time bago ako matransfer…hirap eh…been trying to communicate with my ex-boss…pero walang opening pa eh…haaaay! Lalo na pag nakikita ko sinusweldo ko mygulay!!!wala tlga…good benefits kasi may mga loans and other stuff you could get…ok sana if your in sales department…free phone (2500 limit); free gas, free car, unlimited credit card…sarap!!!kya lng ayun wala ako don eh…wanted to kaya lng I’m too junior pa raw…kainis!!!

Buti na lng…someone’s making me smile…yiheee!!! Sana nga lng it’s true.=) =) =)

sunday

2005-09-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

this is a beadwork day for me..hehehe gumawa ako ng necklace and earrings kanina..kakatapos ko lng nga eh...hopefully next month makabili na ko ng mga supplies...balak ko kasing magbenta..hehehe you know kailangan ng extra income...mejo taghirap eh. next time ipopost ko dito mga nagawa ko..sympre baka may kakilala kyong nagbabasa nito na gustong umorder...hehehehe

ayun, la magawa eh...chikahan lng kami kanina ni jai bout my "honey"(hahahahahaha)...ay naku basta ako steady lng...mejo iba kasi ang iniisip ko ngayon eh...di ko alam kung wrong timing ba o ayus lng at may inspirasyon kahit papano...o dpat bang ma-inspired na???hihihihihi mejo natutupad na ata ang isa sa mga wish list ko....nakakatuwa na nakakatakot...hmmm ano kaya mangyayari pa sa susunod...sa saturday kaya eh matuloy kami???? tingnan natin kung kaya nya kong pagpaalam kay mader....hehehehe pero kailangan kasama rin manager ko...sama ka h pag nagkataon?!hehehehehe =b

Saturday duty

2005-09-17T21:52:00.000-07:00

This is one working Saturday of the month...thought I was late again for work...arrived at the office around 8:06am(indeed late though, exact 8:ooam ang log in time eh)...only to find out that i'm the first one to arrived in our team...tapos...squatter ako don sa loob ng CSC...akala ko kasi di dadating yung mga specialist so i stayed don sa isang workstation then ayun present lhat sila...so mega lipat na naman ako...haay naku...tapos don sa nilipatan ko wala yung mga software na kailangan ko...di naka-install...naku what a day buti na lng gang 2pm lng kami non at di ko na tlga alam ang gagawin ko.mega pretend ako na busy...eh mga 1030 tapos na yung mga pending ko yesterday...=s

so ayun around 1pm, may nagtxt.....ask nya kung pwede daw ako sunduin...i said yes, no prob....so ok na 1:45 daw andon na sya...sabi ko mga 2 pa ko out...around 1:30 nagtxt sabi nya malelate lng daw sya ng mga 30 mins kasi nautusan pa raw sya magpaligo ng baby sister nya...so ok lng naman sa akin yon...around 2pm pag out ko sabi ko meet na lng kami sa glorietta at bibili rin ako ng pasalubong for my baby...ayun biglang sabi eh maliligo pa lng sya...hala anong oras na sya dadating di ba?! so cge wait lng ako pero ayung text na ko ng text sa knya kung san na sya at kung punta pa...mga 3pm sabi ko uwi na ko at mukhang di na sya dating...so ayun di pa rin sya reply...kya punta na ko terminal...around 330 na nakaalis yung sinasakyan ko pero wala pa rin akong narereceive na txt from him...aroung 4pm ngtxt sya na asa tower records na raw sya aba sympre ako asa edsa na non...so wala na naiinis na rin ako.....pero sorry naman sya kaya lng nakakainis pa rin di ba?!

ayun mga around 5pm katxt ko na "sila" invite ko kasi sila sa school ng kapatid ko may battle of the bands..tapos txt na "sya" nagsosorry gamit yung isang fone nung friend nya...then he ask kung pwede sila dumaan dito house...hmmm napangiti ako ng konti don...ayun mga past 6pm andito na nga sila...sympre nahiya naman ako la akong papakain...ayun may custard cake kaya yon lng offer ko sa knila...hehehe nahiya daw tlga ako kasi di ako nagsasalita masyado at di ako makatingin sa kanila...=) blush blush....we didn't talk much...actually mas kausap ko pa yung isa...hehehe nagkahiyaan daw kaming dalawa...haay naku di naman na ako kasi sanay ng ganon...well ayun nahiya na sya kaya nagaya ng umuwi...binubuyo sya na magstay kaya lng ayaw na nya...hmmm...ayun sabi nya next time daw di na mauulit na malate sya...uhm..i'll think about it!!!hihihihihi

sleepy

2005-09-16T12:39:00.000-07:00

had an early lunch break today...took 11am break wala kasi yung kasama ko eh...grabe ate at hotshots...sobrang busog ngayon...yummy...kaya lng eto sarap din matulog...la pa man din masyadong calls at breaktime tlga...haaay...lamig pa...zzzzzzzzz sleep muna ko kunwari nagwowork..heheheheheh maya na ulet ako blog...=)

maling akala.....

2005-09-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

ang nakaraan…

Sept 8 – birthday ni mama mary, went to mass with kris, malou and mark…sinelebrate nila ang anniversary nila…yihee!!!happy for both of you! Happy 2 years!!!=)

Sept 9 – went to May’s house with Jai…at ikinuwento namin lahat ang text messages ni ba2. ayus yon gusto daw kaming tuhuging 3 pero ayus lng…nagkatuwaan lng naman…reminiscin’ ng mga schoolmates at batchmates ayun kaloka…sarap pagusapan kaya ayun lalo ako nawalan ng boses.

Sept 10 – eto the best day!!!! Hmmm…happy day ever!!!=) morning, wala lng nood lng tv at kinareer ang paggawa ng mga beads jewelries. Mga tanghali, mega internet na ako…nagcheck ng friendster ayun may message sa akin yung nirereto ni Audrey…hehehe kya lng mukhang pag nagtagal yon eh mauubusan ako ng ingles..susko di raw sya marunong magtagalog at di rin nakakaintindi..mejo laking amerika na eh kya ganon…ayun inabot ako ng syamsyam bago ko nareplyan message nya hehehehe. =b
Checked out mga connections ng mga tao sa akin sa friendster…lalo na yung mga gf gf ng mga friends…hehehehe
Around 5pm nagaya kuya ko na pumunta ng SM ayun pinasyal ko anak ko…eh since di nagging maganda ang bday ko niyaya ko na silang lahat para magdinner don…oha kaya wala na akong pera ngayon at tinreat ko sila.hehehehe
Mga 9pm nagpahatid ako kina chester, bday kasi nya andon na rin si jai at hinihintay na ko inuman to the max daw…ayun pagbaba ko ng kotse…may intermission kaming 2 parehas kami ng suot na shirt at parehas din kaming may kwintas kwintasan…hahahahaha tapos ayun hiyawan ang mga friends tagal din kasing di nagkita kita…actually dapat mga kabanda ko sila…di lng natuloy..mejo sayang nga yung mga jamming dati ganda n asana ng repertoire naming..hehehe kakamiss din yon…kaya ayun tama nga si jai eh kakaupo ko lng at pina-shot na ko…susko kaya ko ito eh di naman tlga ako nainom…hehehe mejo after mga ilang shots nagpass na ko kasi nararamdaman ko na nagbublush na ako…sympre nangungulit na ang lola mo…actually isa lng naman ang napagtripan ko don eh..kasi inumpisahan nya ko…yung bassist…si artie…actually, he’s cute…uuuuuuyyyyy… hindi…kasi mejo weakness ko ang may sense of humor…eh yon sumobra ata sa knya yon kaya mega kulit din ako…aba swerte sya at may goodbye kiss pa sya sa akin…2x yon h?!hehehehe in fairness, lambot ng lips nya…pero sympre sa cheeks ko lng sya nakakiss…=) ayun gang madaling araw txt sya to the max…eh sympre naubos na load ko sya naka-line…ayun naku dapat sustentuhan na nya ko ng load hehehehe…eto na akala ko mejo joke lng sya dib a?!

Sept 11 - ayun tumawag na sa house..invite nya ko sa Saturday…kaya lng may duty ako non kaya ayun sunduin na lng daw nya ko tapos punta sa house para daw Makita baby ko…aaaawwwww…sympre na-touch ako…la lng…pero sympre mejo iwas lng ako at hinay hinay dib a?! kasi baka gang umpisa lng sya at baka di ko rin kaya panindigan ang biruan na ito…in fairness 2 days na syang consistent…tingnan natin kung gang kelan ito…hehehehehe

2005-09-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

la lang...share ko lng yung text message sa akin ni jai...

"Love can never be wrong...sometimes you blame the situation or even the person but no matter who you blame if it really wasn't meant for you...it just wouldn't be..."

sad but true...=s la lang...i've been thinking of entering a relationship again pero sad part is lahat ng dumadating are all "taken" and having the same excuses and dialogues...haaay! no need to elaborate on this...lalo lng ako nalulungkot....naku ipapahinga ko na lng ito....=c

bday hang-ups

2005-09-07T16:51:00.000-07:00

what happened on my bday???this is one of the memorable bdays i had...it's not because it was a "happy" day but because i had a fight with my mom...ayus noh?! she just know how to greet me on my birthday..well we're ok na ngayon...she hugged me yesterday when i came home from work...well siguro nag-effect yung letter na binigay ko sa knya before i left to work yesterday...kahit wasted sobra eh ayun walang magawa i have to go to work eh..slept for a few minutes lng as in literal na walang tulog dahil sa ngyari ng bday ko...put down the phone around 4am kahapon then around 5am nagaalarm na yung cellphone ko that means kailangan pumasok...actually nagiisip na kong hwag pumasok pero isip ko san naman ako tatambay at makikitulog di ba?!someone offered a place for me to sleep/stay pero sabi ko next time na lng...=) ayun kaya eto andito ko sa house ngayon pahinga to the max at di kinayanan ang pagpupuyat medyo sama ang pakiramdam at sakit ng lalamunan ko...nasobrahan ata ako sa yosi nung bday ko...pano nga dahil sa nagaway kami ni mama non from 2pm eh asa town center na ko mega coffee sa coffee bean habang hinihintay kahit sinong dumating sa mga ginambala ko sa txt...ayun, mga 4pm dumating si markee from school pinakain ko lng then tambay saglit sa powerbooks tapos umalis na sya...then around 5:15 dumating na si randel...tambay naman sa sbc habang hinihintay si veth..dapat maguundertime yon eh kasi nga wala akong kasama nung una pero ayun sabi ko hintay na lng gang uwian nya..after that dumaan muna kami sa church para lng mag-pray over sa mga ngyayari...stayed sa cable car after...ayun wantusawa sa pagyosi inom ng konti tapos around 830pm eh uwian na..i was hoping kasi na magkakaayos kami that night ng nanay ko...well pagdating ko sa house ang mga gamit ko eh asa kabilang kwarto na at ang baby ko asa knya kaloka!!!buti na lng nag-brown out at ayun lumabas anak ko sabay kinuha ko na pero around 1am na yon oha di pa ko natutulog non...kasi kabababa ko lng ng telepono...tapos around 230am may tumawag ulet ayun gang 4am na kami...ano ba napagusapan don???aaahhh nagsimula sa pagpapasalamat sa flowers na binigay nya..hihihihi =)
hopefully ngayon maging ok na lahat sa amin ni mama pero target this year ipon ng konti, hanap ng ibang work, at hanap ng apartment to stay...

advance bday

2005-09-04T12:15:00.000-07:00

went out with my highschool friends yesterday, celebrated my bday at Dad's hahahaha actually, get together namin yon nakijoin lng ako na "bday celeb" yon hehehehe. it was fun, grabe di tlga ako pwede sa mga eat all you can na restaurant lugi sa akin yung manlilibre...although kasi kumain na rin naman ako dito sa house bago nila ko nasundo.hmmm ayun mas marami akong nkain na dessert sa kanila...after that, nagcoffee naman kami sympre libre pa rin sarap tlga!!!todo chikahan pa rin...at seryoso ito matatanda (well mature) na tlga kami..at pinaguusapan na namin ang magsosyo sa business...we're planning to venture a "pre-school" oha?! ayun kanya kanya na ng toka magresearch...sympre si may ang tlgang mas pinaayos namin...=b pero sana nga matuloy eh..gusto ko na lang tlga magbusiness..tinatamad na ko sa work ko...well kumbaga, work on the side na lng tapos may business hehehehe
tapos ayun inaayos na namin nila jai ang pagpunta ng canada, tapos kaninang umaga nagtxt sya may seminar daw papuntang new zealand this week ayun pupuntahan din namin..naku kailangan na tlga magisip na umalis ng ibang bansa para mas umasenso sa buhay...hehehehehe
after magchikahan ng businesses...ayun diretso kami kina jai bday ng pamangkin nya eh..oha bday ko na rin ulet yon may spaghetti at cake ayos na!!!hahahaha sympre sinundo ko muna anak ko tapos si may pinadala din anak nya hihihihih kakatuwa ayun nagkagulo sa house nila jai mejo nagagawan sa laruan ang anak ko at pamangkin ni jai...haay sarap kasama ng barkada pero lamo yon...di ko alam pero tumatawa ako pero ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko baket ganito...haay!

update lng

2005-09-01T16:13:00.000-07:00

Wow mejo inamag na tong blog ko hahahaha ganon ba ako ka-busy?! June pa pala tong last update ko…
Hmmm…ano anon a nga ba ngyari for the past 2 months???

July-bday ng prinsesa ko, mama ko at sister-in-law, plus totoong “birth” day ng una kong pamangkin..hihihi 2 na prinsesita namin. Wala masyadong event simpleng handaan lng at malling ang ginawa naming sa mga bdays nila.=)

August-kakatapos lng..hehehehe ano bang ok na ngyari. Grand Alumni Homecoming duh?! A little bit disappointed sa event…naturingang Grand Alumni eh parang nag get together lng for the sake na masabing nagcelebrate ng homecoming…baduy! Saying P150 ko…sorry sa mga nagayos pero kulang sa preparations eh. Sana man lng may isang buffet table kahit pica-pica lng. Tapos may mga chairs and tables..susko eh asa bleachers kami tapos ang mga foods and drinks eh kalat kalat kala mo may tiangge at may bayad din..para san pa yung P150 di ba?! Tapos yung band eh puro mga studyante pa ata yon don..hahahahahaha wala lng…sana may mga prinepare na mga ibang activities…haay la lang…well ok lng atleast nabisita ko ulet ang seton…dami na tlga nagbago don sa school na yon…though I’m thinking kung ok pa rin na ipasok ko don ang anak ko…grabe tuition fee!!!siyets kailangan ko na ng magsusustento sa anak ko!!!hahahahaha

September- 1st day of the month…grabe “ber” months na..lapit na ulet pasko..countdown begins..hehehehe
What’s so special this month???hihihihihi Hmmm… bday ko na???! naaaaah?! No need to celebrate!gosh! late 20’s na pala ako…la pa rin pagbabago...haay may isa lng akong wish sa bday ko…sana….=)

updating

2005-06-07T12:41:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while already since I drop by my blog..hehe medyo 1 month na pala akong walang post. Medyo busy sa work and personal stuff..naks. What’s new??? Hmmm…my hair’s getting long already and my mom’s stopping me to get a trim. Hehehe ditto na si madder kaya marami ng bawal.
Month of May, significant event was when we celebrated Mother’s day , bday of May and reunion of the creisy cabs..hahahaha but it was fun. Atlast, nabuo na ulet kaming apat. Syempre pina-try namin ang Extra-Joss at San Mig light combination that night at ayun, may hyper, may nahilo, merong di nakatulog, at meron wala lng. Hehehe. Atleast, napainom nila ako huh?! It was really fun kaya mauulit ulet yon. =)
June na, hmmm walang pagbabago..planning stage again. Planning to go to Canada, kasi di ako pinayagan pumunta ng Dubai. Hopefully, ok yung Canada thing na ‘to at maayos namin. Tried applying also to different companies, it’ll take some time kasi bago ako umasenso dito sa position ko. Daming plano sana nga lng matupad lahat ng gustong gawin. Planning to get a house also, wanted to get one sana next year pa kaya lng ayun si mama..she’s pushing me to get one already…mukhang gusto na akong umalis sa bahay hahaha. Actually, ang gusto nyang kumuha ng house eh kuya ko since he’s married and soon to have a baby kaya lng medyo di pa sila ready to go on their own. Well, ok din naman na kumuha na ako ng house kaya lng di pa kaya ng sweldo ko.hehehe so ayun, waiting lng lahat. Pati lovelife waiting na lng muna.hehehe

pag-ibig homes and norah jones

2005-04-30T16:21:00.000-07:00

tiring day...went to Pag-IBIG Fund to pay my father's housing loan. ayun mejo malayo pala yon pero ok lng atleast i know na sa amin na tong bahay at lupa di ba?!achievement at nakatulong ako..hehehe it was a bit fun kasi kasama ko ang mareng randel ko...hahaha ayun napagod din at wala lng magawa hehehe Nakakatuwa lng kasi i still got my charm (hahaha naks?!) habang nagbabayad kasi ako don eh may nakipagkilala sa aking employee so sulit ang pag-akyat baba ko...kaya lng inatake ako ng hiya mega tawa lng ginawa ko at di ko tlga binigay ang cel# ko kahit na hinihingi na nya..cutie pa man din.hmmm sumama na lng kaya ako next month pag kukunin na mga documents..wehehehe. ayun so after namin magbayad eh mega tour kami sa mega mall. sobrang mega ang ginawa namin..mega lakad at mega pagod na rin kami grabe tao don kasi sale kaya full pack ang mga fastfood at restaurant..so ayun bagsak namin pizza hut na napakatagal ang service sobrang magcocollapse na kami ni randel eh ni tubig ayaw kaming bigyan. so ayun buti na lng medyo gwapito ang manager kaya si randel di masyadong nagalboroto hahahahaha...kaya paguwi namin ayun plastado at mainit ulo ko felt bad nga eh at nasisigawan ko anak ko pero may pasalubong naman ako eh barney at sesame street vcds kya medyo magsasawa sya sa dami ng nabile ko hehehe naaliw ako at sale kasi. kaya lng ayun, di ko alam kung may kumuha ba o tinago ng anak ko yung isa at nawawala.haay naku naman tlga, kya lalong uminit ulo ko kasi kabibile ko lng nawala na.

ayun, relaxing time...not yet sleepy so i watched Norah Jones concert tour here in manila sa channel 23. I love her songs..very relaxing, hip and make you wanna have an intimate dance with your partner...ayun nga lng wala ako non plus the fact that one of her songs reminds me of someone i shouldn't be thinking of...huhuhuhu...sympre, yun yung "the nearness of you" someone dedicated that to me...pero di pala for real..haay anyways, sabi nga nya he's hoping in time we could be friends again....i just couldn't tell when will that be. still hurting with what he did to me...i don't know if it's still reasonable of me to do or feel that way. but hopefully, this one's different from the "jc" thing. kasi yon wala na tlga akong balak kausapin.it's not that i still bitter di lng tlga karapat dapat na pansinin sya...hehehe sympre another song that hit me was "Come Away with Me" eto ibang tao naman ang naisip ko...someone who's making me feel special at this moment...making me smile and makes me feel good about myself...hehehe ofcourse there's just one problem..he's not mine and he can't be mine. but for now, nageenjoy lng.kakatuwa lng isipin na totoo sya sa akin...hopefully, in time i'll find the exact lovelife i want.

wedding date

2005-04-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

"Every woman deserves an exact love life she wants"---Nick, Wedding Date

Went out to watch a movie with my friends Bes, Malou and Mark...watched the Wedding date...a romantic comedy movie...well, it's a typical love story which at the first scenes of the movie eh alam mo na ang ending...hehehehe pero relaxing sya...cute film..funny and ok kasi andon si Dermot Mulroney(star in My Bestfriend's Wedding) and Debra Messing(Grace of "Will and Grace)

So that's where i got that quote...i don't know if i got it right but it's somehow like that..and it's pretty much true. Sabi nga don ni Nick (role played by Dermot) you don't have to waste your time for someone who doesn't love you back or give you any importance. Instead, make that person feel that he lost someone precious/important. And don't ruin your chance of having another relationship just because of your unhappy past relationships. hmmm sounds familiar. but it's true. soooo true...

After the movie, ayun nag-dinner kami sa Gerry's gustuhin ko man ilibre pa sila eh la na cash eh..hehehe bawi ulet next time..But it was fun!Buo ang "fantastic 4" eh.hahahaha sa uulitin mga friends...saya!

heart and reason

2005-04-19T12:12:00.000-07:00

"I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common
thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to
me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my
heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."
- from "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks

THE REASON AND THE HEART
(compliment goes to Bes)

Dear Heart,
This is a tiny voice that told me last night i couldnt
understand u anymore.u have
been awfully quiet for some time now and you
have been shutting me off.i can feel
u too and it is hard for me to understand that you
want to go through it alone.
we used to be in the same boatstruggling over the
things but you moved and took
a different route.i have always been at your side
but this time i opt to differ.i
can see your pain and i can feel it too,not because
you are the heart which make
the only one capable of feeling.i am not hard as
you sometimes believe me i am.i
just have to be like this for both of us ,otherwise
we would both drown and noone
can save us anymore
Heart,why do you keep on beating on the wrong
person all the time?aren't you tired
of watching them leave you?arent you tired of
giving your best and not get anything
in return?if your not then i am...i am tired of giving
you excuses so you wouldn't
break.i am tired of saying yes when in fact it is no.i
am tired of convincing you
when you very well know that i am just lying to
make you happy.i am tired of you
,for all your broken dreams your failed
relationships and for all your unrequired
love.you have so much to give to the person who
can never be yours. HEART,werent
you the one who said that you are sore and
wounded /so why are you staying when
you can just walk away from all these pain that is
consuming you?how can you take
it HEART?how can you look at his eyes and not
see you in his heart?how can you smile
when you feel his caress and know that those
touches were meant for someone else/how
can you be strong when your feeling weak and
helpless how can you possibly love
someone who is inlove with another girl?he was
never yours to begin with so it would
be impossible to have him forever FOREVER is
just a word Heart.There is no such
thing as forever just good byes as inevitable.i have
seen you so excited when he
came to our lives.i was just as excited as you
were.i wanted to be the guy we can
both inlove with.but he is a dream and dreams
end.tell me wasnt it good to have
a dream everytime you feel like doing so?like
dreams you have to wake up and face
the day.It was enough that he made you feel
loved.just face the reality that someone
owns his heart...pushing for it will only make
another girl's heart bleed.
i have seen you loved lost and grieved but
never healed.why Heart?what are you
so afraid of?it's time to let go .i know it would be
hard .i have never seen you
love this way before...so unconditional.of course
you have always loved unconditionally
but your love for him is different because you
wouldnt listen to me.you used your
words against me and that makes me feel
helpless.
i am just hurt as you are because i cant make the
pain go away.i cant help you and
heal for you...you have to do it alone.
you have keep your silence and its defening.i
know you are trying to fool me so
i would thik you are okay and that i shouldnt
worry..you want me to believe that
you are not in pain
remember HEART there is a thin line that
connects us and it would be difficult to
deceive one and the other of what is really going
on ....not that is love
always
-- your friend reason
My Friend Reason,
Thank you for putting up with me while i go
through my journey.it is
like battling a demon.The battle is within me and
something i feel i could not fight.You
were right i have never felt this way before .you
know why i said that?it is because
i allowed my self to manipulate all the other system
that are within my power.i
shut all the possibilities that one day when i look
back this would be my biggest
regret.i shut it because i know i would never
regret.A love so true has no regrets
even if you dont get what you work so hard for ...in
the end.That is why i disregard
the idea that one day i would have to watch him
leave and know that deep within
me he is never coming back.He is in deed a
dream a dream i never wish to end.I am
holding on to that dream that is why i wouldnt want
to let go yet,but holding on
for as long as i can doesnt mean holding on
forever.i dont believe in forever either
that is what i used to because you said there is no
such thing,but he made me believe
in a lot of things and one of them which was we
can stay this way for eternity.a
moment with him is forever for more.forever might
be a word but it exists.It is
a place where dreams come true ...where hope
did not go to oblivion,it is a place
where kisses heals wounds where embrace can
take away fears,where touch can take
away doubts.That is forever and i ibelieve him
because i felt it.we may not last
another weeks,another months or even years but
he took me to that place where dates
are mere numbers you count on to say that this is
how long i have him for a moment
and that is enough for me through this
lifetime.Hopefully i can have him a little
longer to lasts another lifetime.
Looking back ,you and i have been together in
everything and i can never keep a
secret from you.You are too wise to be fooled.they
say wise people are poor in the
matters of the heart.I wish to erase that cliche.It is
not true that i choose to
beat for wrong people.i just do.You should know
better that my beating is involuntary.if
i could be held within the palm of the hand,then it
would be a lot easier not to
give any explanation.But i cant be and this makes
us human so i keep my feet on
the ground the groundby feeling and hurting.you
dont have to make any excuses for
me anymore or lie to me...because regardless of
the tears and pain i am happy.You
asked me how can i take it....it is about loving
without expecting to be loved back.
i may say one thing but mean another...but when i
say i love him...i really do.love
is not blind.it is only by the people who hoped to
have more when they already have
everything...it is about taking everything including
those you hope to take away.i
dont have to see myself in his eyes just as long as
he sees himself in mine.i dont
have to frown when i know his smiles werent mine
just as long as i am smiling because
of him and he knows it.
i am weak and might be helpless but how many
weak and helpless have felt what am
i feeling?it is a bliss that no word can contain.to
define is to limit the feeling
so i just enjoy it
i have loved lost and grieved and yes i havent
healed because i dont want to heal.healing
is as good as forgetting
and i wouldnt want to forget.i have moved on the
dealt of life equally well despite
my handicap so i dont need to heal and forget.
Before i end i want to tell you something you still
probably wouldnt understand
but i know in time you would come to see it as I did
love is not getting what you have not even getting
what you deserve.it is getting
nothing and somehow getting everything if you see
it the way i did you wouldnt ask
anymore and still be wise .Perhaps if we can see
again through the same eyes we used
to look at before through the same window.maybe
they would say we are the first
to break the cliche
always,
--- HEART

new look

2005-04-18T20:33:00.000-07:00

first day at work with my new hairdo...hehehe glad that everyone liked it. though si bes, puro pangaasar ginawa...heheheh expected ko naman yon...saturday pa lng naman ngaasar na yon partida pa di pa kami nagkikita.hmp!=b anyways, mejo mahaba pa naman compared sa gusto ko tlga...eh natakot ako na paiklian pa that time baka di na bumagay sa akin eh...next month naman hahahaha naaliw sa pagiging short hair...so eto la lang shineshare ko lng na happy ako with my new look...next month ulet!!!hahahahaha tama marsy!baka nga pag ganito na ang look ko eh magkadireksyon na ang lablyf ko...hehehehe

constantly

2005-04-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

CONSTANTLY

I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
The feeling just kept on shining through
Haven’t known you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much too much too strong
Could this be love
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart
Chorus:Constantly, you’re on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can’t sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking ’bout you
Why do I feel this way
When I know you have someone
That you’re seeing each and every day
Should I play this game
Of just being your friend
When I know that’s not where I want it to end
How could this be wrong
When the feeling’s so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart
Chorus 2x
No I don’t want to start no trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I’m going through
Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes

leave

2005-04-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

a week of resting..almost...went to work for 3 days only..hehehe actually i have reasons such as i'm sick and so my daughter. last wednesday, took a sick leave..hmm dahil sa katakawan ko ayun had allergies again mejo namaga na naman mga joints ko. then today, took an emergency leave have to bring my baby sa doctor. 3 days na kasi syang nilalagnat. pabalik balik na. twing gabi lng tumataas lagnat nya...so ayun, hopefully maging ok na sya at binigyan na sya ng antibiotic.hirap pag baby ang may sakit.

last day of kuya william and ate gina here...will surely miss them...for their despedida, cooked carbonara for them..eksakto, andito mga bandmates ni mark nung highschool at nag-jam sila..well, kakamiss ang mga highschool days..so mejo naki-jam din ako with them...cutie.. saw my baby jamming with them too...hahahaha

updating my friendster..hehehe photo uploading muna ko...

facial day

2005-03-20T00:26:00.000-08:00

enjoyed my day!!!hehehe started the morning right...hahahaha mega chat for 3 hours oha?!nagsimula ako ng 8:30am gang almost 11am na..hehehehe tapos ayun gumimik anak ko sinama ng uncle nya sa cavite...so ako mega pahinga lng by 4pm ayun nagdecide na magpafacial...kasama si mare...=) kulitan ever tapos punta ng bf pque for cofi, dinner na rin.sawap don?!kakarelax din.ok h?!ulitin yon..hehehehe

eto i'm watching lng Bb. Pilipinas, you know frustrated beauty queen..hihihihihi bukas, hmmm swimming ever daw..sawap!!! cge yun lng matutulog na ako...beauty rest na.

happy life

2005-03-18T22:26:00.000-08:00

haaay!sawap friday na..hehehe eto just got home. just feel so good about myself. ewan ko pero ang sarap ng pakiramdam ko ngayon...dami nakapansin na parang iba ang aura ko...sabi ko lng masaya lng tlga ako ngayon kaya maaliwalas ang mukha ko. ewan ko pero i feel so light. kahit na maraming calls kanina at daming recon ever tapos ok lng sa akin kahit nagturo ulet ako kanina sa kabila. basta iba eh.hehehehe la lng wala ng sense..labo.

sharekolng...hapi thoughts ulet...=)

new template for me

2005-03-17T21:28:00.000-08:00

i'm trying to fix my blog...ewan ko kung ok tong template na to...hehehe atleast nabago ko na...been looking for one for the past week na..actually mejo 1 month na ata. ..nothing much to say for now. i don't know what to feel right now..trying to pick up the pieces again..trying to fix myself..one thing i've learn...i need to love myself more muna. kaya ayun, bumalik na ko sa pag-ggym. went boxing again pang-release ng tension, stress and heartaches..hehehehe it makes me feel better. basta alam ko ok na ko...happy thoughts.

vijoke night

2005-03-15T17:02:00.000-08:00

Had fun yesterday…hmmm good to have friends who enjoys simple things…hehehehe Monday gimik! San ka pa?! Lunes na lunes eh nagaya si malou magvideoke..hehehehe sympre since isa sa adiksyon ko rin yon mega sama ako…Sawap kumanta ng kumanta yung di ka sisitahin kahit pumiyok ka o kahit wala ka sa tono basta gusto mo lng kumanta…hehehehe Was with Malou, Mark and Kris…sympre kami ni kris pang asar sa mag-irog!hahahahaha ayun pagdating na pagdating sa Music 21 mega pili na kami ng kanta…ayus walang katapusan ang pagkanta..sarap kasama ng mga to di ka na maghihintay ng kakantahin…kala mo naghanda ng sobra at tuloy tuloy ang pag lagay ng mga kanta.hehehehehe ayus yun, sulit ang pagstay gang 10pm..hehehe kung di pa tayo pinigilan nung attendant don eh di ata tyo aalis…hahahahaha si malou ayaw pa papigil humirit pa gang sa huli..hahahahah pero ulitin natin yon…=)
Sarap tlga kumanta…one way din yon to release the tension, pressure, stress, sadness, at kung ano ano pang emotions na nararamdaman. Ayus.

kaba

2005-03-10T20:50:00.000-08:00

haay eto so ayun natapos ang buong araw...marami na akong ginagawa sa trabaho ko..unti unti ko ng naiintindihan mga ginagawa ko don..mejo slow pa rin kasi bago tlga lahat. di ko alam baket ako kinakabahan buong araw..buti na lng mejo busy ako at ayun mejo natanggal ang nararamdaman kong yon..di ko alam san nanggaling...haay kaya bukas naka-leave ako...bibigyan ko ng regalo sarile ko pgkatapos ng lahat ng mga nangyari sa akin...i guess i need a break.so ayun, ok naman ako..mas masaya feeling ko ngayon kasi alam ko na ang dapat gawin ko...tama sila, kailangan ko na mas mahalin sarile ko. di dapat pinagaaksayahan ng panahon ang mga taong di naappreciate ang binibigay mong atensyon. akala ko lng kasi di sya katulad ng typical na lalaki...well nagkamali ako..pero ok lng atleast maaga pa lng nalaman ko na...so ayun lang gusto ko lng sabihin na ok na ko!!!=)

sablay na naman

2005-03-09T20:30:00.000-08:00

baket ba nararamdaman ko to ngayon...emotional na naman ako..di naman bilog ang buwan...ilang araw na akong ganito...haay! may mali na at napapadalas na rin ang pagyosi ko..di na tama tlga...dpat ng tigilan ang mga kahibangan ng buhay ko.

baket ba kasi kailangan pag may nagugustuhan ako eh lagi na lng sablay...kundi may asawa..may gf..2nd best na lang ako lage...meron naman gusto ka...di mo naman gusto.haay buhay?! tapos pagiisipan ka pa na "player" ka, "easy girl" o kaya flirt...haay ganon ba ang image ko?! o dahil sa mga sablay na taong nainvolve sa akin...mali nga talaga pero gusto ko lng sabihin sa inyo na di ako ganon...di ako pang one night stand na inaakala nyo. di ako pang part time lng...at ayoko na rin manghiram..ayoko na rin ng may kahati sa atensyon. nakakabwiset!

tama ka kris, kailangan ko ng desisyunan lhat to...mali nga na pagbigyan ko pa. mali lahat to. maiiwan lang ako pagkatapos...sana makayanan ko yon friend! may fallback sila ako wala. haay sana lng di ka magsawa sa pakikinig sa katangahan ko. =s

di ko alam baket kailangan laging mangyari to sa akin...gusto ko lng naman maramdaman ulet yung tipong alam mong may tao na andyan lagi para sayo..yung alam mong naiintindihan ka..yung ititreat ka na special ka...yung may naglalambing at nalalambing mo...yung mga kilig moments...yung mga...haay ewan?!ang baduy na nitong mga pinagsasabi ko...ang panget! pero kasi naman baket ba walang matinong lalaki na magkagusto sa akin na magugustuhan ko rin. all those "magic" fall to the wrong guys...ewan ko?!nakakalungkot lng..alam ko, di naman ako magiisa after all..i have michi naman...pero iba pa rin yon di ba?! wala lang di ko alam kung may sense pa tong nilalagay ko dito...gusto ko lng magemote ngayong gabi...hehehehe nakakabaliw na?!

anyways, dapat ng tigilan ko to...

update update

2005-03-05T21:20:00.000-08:00

Update! Update!

Whew!been quite busy this past few days…and I’ve been searching for a perfect template for this year…gusto ko kasi bagong template bagong mga issues ng buhay ko..hehehehe pero before that update ko muna kayo sa mga ngyari last month…the month of LOVE…hihihihihihi

Feb 17-dinner with the guest. Where it all started…my new love interest…hahahahahaha
Feb 18-official pseudo boyfriend…hmmm interesting
Feb 19-packing up things, preparing for the Kick-off meeting.
Feb 20-bax and rodel picked me up at filinvest, waited for almost an hour pero ok lng it’s all worth it…bket????la lng basta!!!=)
- arrived in Tagaytay…went straight to the badminton tournament..hmm ever supportive pseudo girlfriend..hahahahaha mega cheer sa lahat at mega picture sa mga players…quite tired pero have to wait nakikisabay lng ako eh…hehehehehe
- ayun, dinner time pero unpack muna sa cottage room naming…hmmm…pagod ito. Had dinner in a Chinese restaurant there..mejo bitin ang food pero ok lng…tamang diet lng pwede na…sympre, di pa pwede magsaya after dinner went back to fix the presentations for tomorrow’s meeting..hmp sayang di ako nakasama sa vijoke night…pero ok lng.
- Ayun, natapos ang presentation at namamahay na ako..di makatulog…so went out to join the group of boys…hahahaha nakiinom daw ako..pero ayus naman they are all fun to be with…ok din kasi yung ambiance para kang nagbabakasyon…hehehehe
- Went back to my room around 2:30am o.a. na kasi eh at maaga pa ang meeting the next day.
- But before that, magical thing happened..well, sa akin magical yon ewan ko lng sa knya di ba?!hehehehehe
Feb 21 - first day of meeting, bangenge ang lola mo!!!haay ikaw ba naman matulog ng 2 oras eh…dyusmi di ba?!pero ok lng…I know I’m inspired despite of the puyatan ever…ayun natapos ang meeting gusto ko na raw matulog…went home first to sleep/rest for 30 mins bago mag-dinner…hmmm bawi ito at steak house ang dinner..sawap!!!!
- first bonfire night, everyone’s drinking..ako baileys and rum whoa!!!mejo naubos ko 1 ½ glass sarap kasi eh…memorable night for me…mejo ilang inom pa, tipsy na ang mga tao…maiingay na ang mga boss…hahahaha kung ano ano na mga sinasabi..pero ang main event…kinasal ako with my pseudo boyfriend…hahahahahahahaha kilig feeling na sana totoo pero alam ko joke lng lahat yon at for fun nakisakay na lng…sympre mejo antok na ko so I decided to go to bed at around 1am…puyat na naman…hehehehehe

Feb 22 - last day of meeting, mejo antok so during the meeting kung ano ano lng ginagawa…hehehehe di na nakikinig at puro flames at tictactoe ang ginawa ko…hmmmm sympre everyone’s teasing me pa rin..at huwag ka..terno kasi kami ng suot….di pinagusapan yon noh?!nagkataon lng…kilig ulet pero dapat pigilan kasi di naman totoo…haay…ayun after nung meeting..eto na!!!! Team building ekek!!!sarap ng feeling…first time nag-rock climbing at proud to say I got to the top!!!!hmmm buti na lng they pushed me to climb it gusto ko na sana bumaba in the middle pero ayun naakyat ko hanggang tuktok!!!another 1st, ayoko sana mag-free fall but everyone’s doing it at sayang yung experience di ba?! So ayun, mega akyat ako sa post haay around 60feet ata yon at ganon pala ang feeling ng tumatalon sa building hehehehehe nakakatakot pero for experience sake tumalon ang kagandahan mo…gusto ko sumigaw pero walang lumabas na boses eh…tawanan tuloy lahat…hahahahaha pagbaba ko nghihina ako pero worth it lahat…so ayun, after non mega bihis na at punta na sa last dinner naming sa Taal vista lodge…hmmm awarding ceremony sa mga nanalo sa badminton at raffle..fortunately, nanalo ako ng 500 worth of GC hehehehe ok na yun di ba?! Pagbalik ng cottage, pagod na tlga kaya di na ko sumama sa 2nd bonfire…di na ko lumabas ng kwarto not until he asked me to go to his cottage but not for anything else…magvivijoke sana kami kaya lng yung mga kasama naming pagod na rin at ayaw ng sumama..hmp kainis…so ayun we both had a drink na lng pampalipas lng ng oras…moment together at mukhang nagiging totohanan na ang joke eh…pero have to leave bago pa kung ano mangyari di ba?! So ayun, windang ang lola mo…sablay na naman kasi….

Feb 23-uwian na! Pero sympre went swimming muna with rodel and shaye..dpat sa may country club kami pero may pool pala don malapit so kahit na malamig mega langoy ang kagandahan mo at sa wakas nagamit ko rin ang mahiwagang 2 pc ko at takenote sa Tagaytay pa!!!hahahaha ang lamig sobra..so ayun naguuwian na ang iba at ang beauty ko mega hintay sa sasabayan ko eh kasamaang palad kasama sya sa grupo na nag-golf..so ayun nagpahatid na lng ako sa may golf lounge at ako na lng kasi natira sa cottage…haay dakila tlga! Ikaw na maging “girlfriend” Ayun malas naman at maling lugar ang pinghihintayan ko mga 1 oras na ko naghihintay at giniginaw na eh maling lugar pala napuntahan ko…so ayun hintay sa sundo masama na pakiramdam at mainit na ulo ko!!!!pero have to be nice and friendly pa rin…ayun mga past 3pm pa lng ako naglunch at since masakit lalamunan ko eh molo soup lng nakain ko at maasim na calamansi juice…ayun mga 5pm umuwi na kami…pagod na sobra..tense din, kasi sya ang naghatid sa akin pauwi…nagiisip…naguguluhan…at may sakit na rin ako…so ayun mga 7:30 asa house na ko..checked my temperature…ayun may lagnat na ang beauty ko…so SL the next day..total nung Friday holiday naman…kya mega pahinga na…

Feb 24 – asa house lng mega pahinga at taas baba lagnat ko..got scared nung umakyat gang 39 ang lagnat ko sobrang init ko na at nahihilo na ko…pero ayun bumaba naman agad

Feb 25 – asa house lng ulet…holiday eh..wala lng…pahinga lng at mejo magaling na eh

Feb 26 – went out for a grocery, decision day! Sabi ko sa sarile ko pag pumunta sya ditto sa house at sinundo ako may chance kaming dalawa but unfortunately, nagconflict na ang sched at nagdecide na rin sya na huwag na pumunta…so this is it…tapos na yung pseudo thing…Pinasyal ko na lng anak ko sa town at andon ang Justice League…it was fun though nagiinarte ang michigirl.

Feb 28 – pasok na! Half day sa C&I half day sa CSC haay di pa rin nagsisink in sa systema ko na asa CSC na ko…ayaw ko tong work na to pero kailangan kong gawin…labo ng sched ko…after 5 stayed pa sa office para tapusin ang mga naiwang work sa C&I, nagpapakadakila….iniiwasan na sya.

Mar 1 - nagusap na kami…ayun malinaw na sa akin na dapat ng tigilan lahat….may gf sya so iwas na..bawal na manghiram at ayoko na ng may kahati. At ulet OT pa rin, at 8pm na ko nakaalis ng office gustuhin ko man magstay pa at marami pa kong ginagawa non pero ayaw na ko pagstayin ng bantay don…hahahahaha minulto po ako ulet…haaay hirap maging lapitin ng multo…bwiset!
nga pala...HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!!!miss you!

Mar 2 – iiwasan daw eh noh?! Haay kasama ko sya magbreakfast, at hinintay nya ko nung lunch..ay o.a. lunch ko 1-2 eto ayaw ko eh may shift ang break naming kailangan kasi na may maiwan sa lugar naming bwiset pero ok lng nakasama ko naman sya….at sympre 5pm ot na naman ako sa kabila…mega turo ulet.pagod na ko!!! Pero ok lng, pauwi kasama ko sya..we were supposed to have dinner sa Valero pero change of plans…magkasama kami gang 10pm at I decided to go home na…ayun windang ako kasi di ko raw alam ano na?! As usual mali na naman ang sitwasyon ko…bahala na raw yun yung naririnig ko lng sa knya…bahala na…pero alam ko walang kapupuntahan to…kasi ayaw nya rin paalam sa office eh…haay ano ba itong napapasukan ko!!!!

Mar 3 – SL ulet…hehehehehe ayaw na tlagang pumasok!tinatamad lang kaya asa house lng ako.

Mar 4- balik trabaho…ok naman mejo dumadami na pinapagawa sa akin..pero wala pa rin sa systema ko….ayun nung mga 6pm eh turn over ulet at ginawa ko muna yung isang report para lng maupdate na…badtrip pa ako non pero as usual kailangan maging plastik sa lahat….bwiset tong si rodel, haay kahit anong baet ko eh nilaglag pa ko…ayun mega sabi sya na di maayos ang turn over ko sa knya..haay ayoko ng magsalita…eto naaalala ko na naman…hmp!!! So ayun nagpakadakila ulet ako gang 8pm at ayun nagugutom na ko kaya sumunod kami sa Friday gimik nila…may maghahatid sana sa akin na iba pero since akala ko eh magiging ok kung “sya” pipiliin kong makasama pero mali pala…he doesn’t seem to care…ayun so mga 10pm eskapo na kmi ni rodel…ayaw na rin kasi nya magstay eh…ako para habulin ang shuttle…sympre deadma ang lolo mo…walang pakialam…sagot lng nya…pagod sya!!!ay so ganon…kaya ako pagod na rin…tama na katangahan at pagkamartyr…dadating din ang taong para sa akin…buti na lng andyan si bestbud at may nakakausap ako…salamat pre’!hehehehe

Haay sa wakas updated na ko!!!Mar 5 – eto naguupdate at kaharap ang computer maghapon…break lng nung naggrocery ulet kami..hahahahaha preparing for kuya William and gina’s arrival tomorrow…hmmm may bisita kami…=) hmmm birthday rin pala ni gino!Happy birhtday!!!!=) Update! Update!

Whew!been quite busy this past few days…and I’ve been searching for a perfect template for this year…gusto ko kasi bagong template bagong mga issues ng buhay ko..hehehehe pero before that update ko muna kayo sa mga ngyari last month…the month of LOVE…hihihihihihi

Feb 17-dinner with the guest. Where it all started…my new love interest…hahahahahaha
Feb 18-official pseudo boyfriend…hmmm interesting
Feb 19-packing up things, preparing for the Kick-off meeting.
Feb 20-bax and rodel picked me up at filinvest, waited for almost an hour pero ok lng it’s all worth it…bket????la lng basta!!!=)
- arrived in Tagaytay…went straight to the badminton tournament..hmm ever supportive pseudo girlfriend..hahahahaha mega cheer sa lahat at mega picture sa mga players…quite tired pero have to wait nakikisabay lng ako eh…hehehehehe
- ayun, dinner time pero unpack muna sa cottage room naming…hmmm…pagod ito. Had dinner in a Chinese restaurant there..mejo bitin ang food pero ok lng…tamang diet lng pwede na…sympre, di pa pwede magsaya after dinner went back to fix the presentations for tomorrow’s meeting..hmp sayang di ako nakasama sa vijoke night…pero ok lng.
- Ayun, natapos ang presentation at namamahay na ako..di makatulog…so went out to join the group of boys…hahahaha nakiinom daw ako..pero ayus naman they are all fun to be with…ok din kasi yung ambiance para kang nagbabakasyon…hehehehe
- Went back to my room around 2:30am o.a. na kasi eh at maaga pa ang meeting the next day.
- But before that, magical thing happened..well, sa akin magical yon ewan ko lng sa knya di ba?!hehehehehe
Feb 21 - first day of meeting, bangenge ang lola mo!!!haay ikaw ba naman matulog ng 2 oras eh…dyusmi di ba?!pero ok lng…I know I’m inspired despite of the puyatan ever…ayun natapos ang meeting gusto ko na raw matulog…went home first to sleep/rest for 30 mins bago mag-dinner…hmmm bawi ito at steak house ang dinner..sawap!!!!
- first bonfire night, everyone’s drinking..ako baileys and rum whoa!!!mejo naubos ko 1 ½ glass sarap kasi eh…memorable night for me…mejo ilang inom pa, tipsy na ang mga tao…maiingay na ang mga boss…hahahaha kung ano ano na mga sinasabi..pero ang main event…kinasal ako with my pseudo boyfriend…hahahahahahahaha kilig feeling na sana totoo pero alam ko joke lng lahat yon at for fun nakisakay na lng…sympre mejo antok na ko so I decided to go to bed at around 1am…puyat na naman…hehehehehe

Feb 22 - last day of meeting, mejo antok so during the meeting kung ano ano lng ginagawa…hehehehe di na nakikinig at puro flames at tictactoe ang ginawa ko…hmmmm sympre everyone’s teasing me pa rin..at huwag ka..terno kasi kami ng suot….di pinagusapan yon noh?!nagkataon lng…kilig ulet pero dapat pigilan kasi di naman totoo…haay…ayun after nung meeting..eto na!!!! Team building ekek!!!sarap ng feeling…first time nag-rock climbing at proud to say I got to the top!!!!hmmm buti na lng they pushed me to climb it gusto ko na sana bumaba in the middle pero ayun naakyat ko hanggang tuktok!!!another 1st, ayoko sana mag-free fall but everyone’s doing it at sayang yung experience di ba?! So ayun, mega akyat ako sa post haay around 60feet ata yon at ganon pala ang feeling ng tumatalon sa building hehehehehe nakakatakot pero for experience sake tumalon ang kagandahan mo…gusto ko sumigaw pero walang lumabas na boses eh…tawanan tuloy lahat…hahahahaha pagbaba ko nghihina ako pero worth it lahat…so ayun, after non mega bihis na at punta na sa last dinner naming sa Taal vista lodge…hmmm awarding ceremony sa mga nanalo sa badminton at raffle..fortunately, nanalo ako ng 500 worth of GC hehehehe ok na yun di ba?! Pagbalik ng cottage, pagod na tlga kaya di na ko sumama sa 2nd bonfire…di na ko lumabas ng kwarto not until he asked me to go to his cottage but not for anything else…magvivijoke sana kami kaya lng yung mga kasama naming pagod na rin at ayaw ng sumama..hmp kainis…so ayun we both had a drink na lng pampalipas lng ng oras…moment together at mukhang nagiging totohanan na ang joke eh…pero have to leave bago pa kung ano mangyari di ba?! So ayun, windang ang lola mo…sablay na naman kasi….

Feb 23-uwian na! Pero sympre went swimming muna with rodel and shaye..dpat sa may country club kami pero may pool pala don malapit so kahit na malamig mega langoy ang kagandahan mo at sa wakas nagamit ko rin ang mahiwagang 2 pc ko at takenote sa Tagaytay pa!!!hahahaha ang lamig sobra..so ayun naguuwian na ang iba at ang beauty ko mega hintay sa sasabayan ko eh kasamaang palad kasama sya sa grupo na nag-golf..so ayun nagpahatid na lng ako sa may golf lounge at ako na lng kasi natira sa cottage…haay dakila tlga! Ikaw na maging “girlfriend” Ayun malas naman at maling lugar ang pinghihintayan ko mga 1 oras na ko naghihintay at giniginaw na eh maling lugar pala napuntahan ko…so ayun hintay sa sundo masama na pakiramdam at mainit na ulo ko!!!!pero have to be nice and friendly pa rin…ayun mga past 3pm pa lng ako naglunch at since masakit lalamunan ko eh molo soup lng nakain ko at maasim na calamansi juice…ayun mga 5pm umuwi na kami…pagod na sobra..tense din, kasi sya ang naghatid sa akin pauwi…nagiisip…naguguluhan…at may sakit na rin ako…so ayun mga 7:30 asa house na ko..checked my temperature…ayun may lagnat na ang beauty ko…so SL the next day..total nung Friday holiday naman…kya mega pahinga na…

Feb 24 – asa house lng mega pahinga at taas baba lagnat ko..got scared nung umakyat gang 39 ang lagnat ko sobrang init ko na at nahihilo na ko…pero ayun bumaba naman agad

Feb 25 – asa house lng ulet…holiday eh..wala lng…pahinga lng at mejo magaling na eh

Feb 26 – went out for a grocery, decision day! Sabi ko sa sarile ko pag pumunta sya ditto sa house at sinundo ako may chance kaming dalawa but unfortunately, nagconflict na ang sched at nagdecide na rin sya na huwag na pumunta…so this is it…tapos na yung pseudo thing…Pinasyal ko na lng anak ko sa town at andon ang Justice League…it was fun though nagiinarte ang michigirl.

Feb 28 – pasok na! Half day sa C&I half day sa CSC haay di pa rin nagsisink in sa systema ko na asa CSC na ko…ayaw ko tong work na to pero kailangan kong gawin…labo ng sched ko…after 5 stayed pa sa office para tapusin ang mga naiwang work sa C&I, nagpapakadakila….iniiwasan na sya.

Mar 1 - nagusap na kami…ayun malinaw na sa akin na dapat ng tigilan lahat….may gf sya so iwas na..bawal na manghiram at ayoko na ng may kahati. At ulet OT pa rin, at 8pm na ko nakaalis ng office gustuhin ko man magstay pa at marami pa kong ginagawa non pero ayaw na ko pagstayin ng bantay don…hahahahaha minulto po ako ulet…haaay hirap maging lapitin ng multo…bwiset!

Mar 2 – iiwasan daw eh noh?! Haay kasama ko sya magbreakfast, at hinintay nya ko nung lunch..ay o.a. lunch ko 1-2 eto ayaw ko eh may shift ang break naming kailangan kasi na may maiwan sa lugar naming bwiset pero ok lng nakasama ko naman sya….at sympre 5pm ot na naman ako sa kabila…mega turo ulet.pagod na ko!!! Pero ok lng, pauwi kasama ko sya..we were supposed to have dinner sa Valero pero change of plans…magkasama kami gang 10pm at I decided to go home na…ayun windang ako kasi di ko raw alam ano na?! As usual mali na naman ang sitwasyon ko…bahala na raw yun yung naririnig ko lng sa knya…bahala na…pero alam ko walang kapupuntahan to…kasi ayaw nya rin paalam sa office eh…haay ano ba itong napapasukan ko!!!!

Mar 3 – SL ulet…hehehehehe ayaw na tlagang pumasok!tinatamad lang kaya asa house lng ako.

Mar 4- balik trabaho…ok naman mejo dumadami na pinapagawa sa akin..pero wala pa rin sa systema ko….ayun nung mga 6pm eh turn over ulet at ginawa ko muna yung isang report para lng maupdate na…badtrip pa ako non pero as usual kailangan maging plastik sa lahat….bwiset tong si rodel, haay kahit anong baet ko eh nilaglag pa ko…ayun mega sabi sya na di maayos ang turn over ko sa knya..haay ayoko ng magsalita…eto naaalala ko na naman…hmp!!! So ayun nagpakadakila ulet ako gang 8pm at ayun nagugutom na ko kaya sumunod kami sa Friday gimik nila…may maghahatid sana sa akin na iba pero since akala ko eh magiging ok kung “sya” pipiliin kong makasama pero mali pala…he doesn’t seem to care…ayun so mga 10pm eskapo na kmi ni rodel…ayaw na rin kasi nya magstay eh…ako para habulin ang shuttle…sympre deadma ang lolo mo…walang pakialam…sagot lng nya…pagod sya!!!ay so ganon…kaya ako pagod na rin…tama na katangahan at pagkamartyr…dadating din ang taong para sa akin…buti na lng andyan si bestbud at may nakakausap ako…salamat pre’!hehehehe

Haay sa wakas updated na ko!!!Mar 5 – eto naguupdate at kaharap ang computer maghapon…break lng nung naggrocery ulet kami..hahahahaha preparing for kuya William and gina’s arrival tomorrow…hmmm may bisita kami…=)

boxing

2005-02-10T10:58:00.000-08:00

Got to talked to my soon to be boss…ayun nga, I’ll be handling Cards marketing customer service. I don’t know really the job pero by next week hopefully makapagturn over na ako at maturnover na rin sa akin yung work gradually..i need to undergo some training daw eh before March 1 yung official starting date ko don….got no choice….bagong work…start from scratch again.

Kaya ayun, nagaya ako magboxing kagbe…Red Corner na kasi yung nagooperate ng gym sa Intercon eh don yung accredited na gym for Caltex. So we went there kasama ko yung kaofficemate ko counterpart ko dati sa Retail as Admin. Asst. ngayon she’s holding Sta rmart stuff. Anyways, ayun nga sarap ng feeling…warm up exercises pa lang pagod ka na at pinagpapawisan..hehehehe…then tinuruan kami ng different punches…ok yung trainers one on one kayo kaya ok sulet!!!since trial pa lang namin kagbe..basic lahat tinuro at konti lng mga sets na pinagawa. Pero ayun nga, masusundan ‘to so I need to buy boxing gloves and ayun nakalimutan ko na naman yung tawag don sa tinatali nila sa kamay nila…hehehehe pero basta yon..kakariren ko ‘to!!!hmmm kakawala ng stress, tension plus pampasexy pa!!!bukas, kickboxing naman!!ayus!!!

depressing moment

2005-02-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

Depressing day for me yesterday..nice way to start the week di ba?!i don’t know how to react on it..maybe I reacted too much pero I know it was my prerogative to do that..mejo losing end lng kasi he’s my boss pa rin…kahit sumigaw ako o upakan ko sya eh ako lng talo kasi pwede nya ko ilaglag anytime…actually he already did nga dib a?! haay hirap ng ganitong feeling..but I cannot do anything.i have a point pero wala tlga akong choice. Upto now sama pa rin ng pakiramdam ko.bigat pala.pero sabi nga nila I have to be strong I have to stay calm and hopefully it turns out good for me. Sad sad sad sad sad….

2005-02-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

Another depressing moment for me…feel like my world is turning upside down..sad sad…but still I have to smile and think that everything will be fine…haay if only I have a choice…sabi nga nila…eveything will be better…malay ko nga naman God has plans for me kaya nya hinahayaan na mangyari yon….Thanks to Bax-for listening to me sa 4th khiya, another person na nakakita sa akin na umiiyak..haay..Thanks to Kris: my ever confidante, listening ears and shoulder to cry on….To Gino: salamat salamat…pati tuloy ikaw nakwentuhan ko ng sad moment ko yesterday…bad trip lng tlga kasi eh.Pero cge sabi mo nga smile.i will…And I quote one of the lines sa letter ng friend…”Your predicament now is quite unfortunate. If you will be transferred to CSC then to put it bluntly its a demotion.” Ooouuuuuccchhh!!!! Now I’m really depressed!!!haay! but I have no choice nga…I just have to face the fact na yon ang nakatadhana…kalungkot!!!!

in you i see...

2005-01-29T19:42:00.000-08:00

Wala ako sa office kahapon…was expecting that I’ll have time for myself..i mean to relax a little…uhm well, I had time to think things over though…inhale…exhale…and I asked, what’s wrong with me?????? I don’t know why it popped into my mind..maybe because I was alone that time in the room…sigh! Nalulungkot na naman ako…ironically, I txted a friend, he’s asking where I was..sabi ko nagpapakasaya lng…am I? Am I really having fun that time? Or am I just pretending I am happy? I know I was happy but still incomplete…di ko alam baket? O alam ko pero ayaw kong aminin sa sarili ko ang mga reasons behind it…di ko alam kung anong dapat kong isipin ngayon..sino dapat kausapin o ano?! Siguro this is just another time of my life again na iniisip ko ano na? Sabay sabay lng siguro mga ngyayari na di maganda…but tell you, nobody will ever “see” this…I’ll go on pretending that everything is fine…I’ll continue to cover my real feelings with the physical aura… “YOU” said I am blooming? Yes I am, and it’s all because of YOU! But only on the outside…but inside, you’re breaking me into pieces and it hurts so bad….But I won’t let you break me totally…soon I’ll have my happiness..sabi nga nila “steady lang”.

to you my dear

2005-01-29T19:18:00.000-08:00

Belated happy birthday my dear…I hope you had fun and enjoyed spending the last few hours of it with me…finally we we’re able to be with each other even just for a while. I was expecting that I’ll be with you longer but you said you have to go…but that’s ok…just being with you is fine with me. Yun nga lng, it will take sometime to be with you again. But for now, I have to leave it all behind…it will now be part of the good memories I’ll treasure. Thank you for your time…

2005-01-24T14:19:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to my brother and sister-in-law (now I really have a sister!!!) to their wedding! Finally it has come to an end. I mean the celebration. It was a perfect one, I can say and it was organized in fairness...hmmm buti naman dib a at ang laki ata ng ginastos nila don. Anyways, ok naman…it would have been nice kung andon nga parents naming…sniff!!!but their presence was there through the video message they sent and the phone calls they made. Sayang nga lang that the webcam did not work in my laptop...kainis dami kasi firewall ekek nitong computer na ‘to daming hinihinging password just to install external hardware. Anyways, it was memorable one for them although di sila kumita with their ninongs and ninangs...hehehehehe

Can’t wait to see the pictures..sayang lng di ko nadala yung digital cam namin…wala tuloy akong kuha with my daughter…all I have was the pictures taken sa church which I bought for Php50 each. Hmmm taba ko pa tingnan don kasi nakita double chin ko…hahahahaha sana sa ibang pics ok kuha ko aba hirap magayos h?! hehehehe but I can say I was pretty that night!!buti na lng walang ibang kokontra dito..hehehehehe atleast pinansin ako ng crush ko diba?! yihee…hehehehe wala lng…nakita ko lng yung crush ko since highschool sayang lng at naging barkada sya ng kuya ko…plus the fact that he’s with his gf that night. Hmmm…happy na ko non atleast pinansin ako at mega smile pa sya sa akin.hahahahaha babaw!!! Ayun nga knina while I’m having lunch sa dulcinea sa glorietta..hehehe dumaan sya with his officemates…hehehehe tlgang tumigil pa sya para lng pansinin ko sya..hehehehe nagpapakilig lng ako. Sympre txted each other pero nagpapahanap lng kasi sya ng opening dito he wants to look for a new job eh.hmmm sana makapasok sya dito ayus yon sabay na kami lagi uwi hehehehehe. At alam kong magiging kunsintidor ko si mader at boto kasi sya don eh for me...hahahaha akala nya kasi sya yung tumatawag sa akin...same name lng naman...=)

2005-01-21T08:36:00.000-08:00

Haay how time fly so fast...tomorrow will be my kuya’s wedding…honestly I’m not that happy…nor excited about it. Ewan ko, daming reasons eh. Syempre I feel bad na our parents are not around, which is very weird for me. Kasi wedding is a one time event of our lives and it should be celebrated with your family and friends. I hate to feel this way pero parang naging inconsiderate kasi yung hipag (haay di ako sanay!!)ko about it. I know that wedding is more of a “bride” event than the groom but still the groom is part of it dib a?! so dapat they’ll take considerations in both parties. But well, andyan nayan…I just feel bad for my parents… I know how it feels not to be part of a special event of your son’s life. Haay, plus the fact that my mom keeps on telling me how she really feel about it. Sad sad sad pero ganon tlga eh. Anyways, I just wish that they’ll have a wonderful life ahead as husband and wife and to their upcoming baby….

2005-01-20T15:57:00.000-08:00

Hate this feeling…this morning went to Defensive Driving Training. Lecture lng inattendan ko kasi still don’t know how to drive tlga…actually I’ve been trying to pero di pa pwede for the actual driving test...hopefully next week matuloy na ko sa driving lessons ko..anyways, going back to what I’m feeling..actually can’t describe it. Bigla na lng akong kinabahan without any reasons ang weird nga eh…bilis ng heartbeat ko then I feel so uneasy. Don’t know if it’s because of hunger, o dahil sa ininom kong cappuccino. Then after lunch, di ako mapakali. Haay what’s this all about…Called the house, checked my daughter…she’s asleep.haay mejo natahimik ng konti na it’s not about my daughter…pero tense pa rin na ewan..i really don’t know yung feeling eh. I can’t think of any reason to feel that way. Tried sending instant messages to my colleagues to ask about it…wala rin silang masabi..it’s kinda weird kasi. So ayun, I asked kris na samahan ako sa 4th flr..for a yosi break…haay this is not good…hope blogging about it will lessen the feeling. I just hope this bad feeling will turn out into something good!

bye and hi

2005-01-18T16:25:00.000-08:00

Last night was fun although it was a short notice ( actually di naman tlga ako nainform directly…hahahaha sarap magtamputampuhan!!!) It was yen’s despedida, naks! It was nice meeting her, I just met her twice and the first meeting was even just a hi, hello and goodbye thing..hehehehe…anyways, happy trip!!!

2005-01-14T16:28:00.000-08:00

My princess....my life....i love you!!!

2005-01-14T15:53:00.000-08:00

eto yung gusto kong i-tatoo sa akin...hmmm ok naman di ba?!try ko lng sa may back-hip. ayus!!! hehehehe

Mahal ko

2005-01-13T17:18:00.000-08:00

longing to be with you again..
longing to see your smile...
longing to hear your voice...
longing for the warmth of your embrace...
i love you and i will always be here for you...

2005-01-11T11:44:00.000-08:00

Ayun, so confirmed na tlga na spirit yon…talked to yaya and the other helpers kung narinig nila yung katok. Si yaya ang sumagot, yes daw around 3:30am aba parehas kami ng oras dib a?! so tlgang narinig nya…din a lng daw nya pinansin she got up and went straight sa c.r. mejo matagal din daw yung katok 3 knocks lang per interval. Yaya told us na kapag ganon dawn a 3 knocks lng per interval spirit daw yon kasi unusual kasi kung tao yon dirediretso katok dib a?! ayun so I looked for my red rosary kagbe, dinasalan kasi yon ni manang before when I was still pregnant. tapos nilagay ko din sa unan ko kagbe..haay buti na lng sarap ng tulog ko.

Nilapitan din kasi ako dati. Same time 3 nights na ganon around 3-4am, someone’s calling my name waking me up tapos pag tinitingnan ko naman sa window wala naman. But during the third night, I got scared already kasi yung aso ng kapitbahay naming umalulong na ng matagal tska ang lakas. so ayun ginising ko si manang non and asked her to stay with me sa room…dinasalan nya ko that night before we go back to sleep..tapos the next day nga dinasalan nya yung isang rosary and placed it under my pillow. She warned me not to take that off my bed kasi nga lapitin ako especially that time that I was pregnant.
Haay naku ayokong maging spirit questor noh?!scary…pinagdasal ko na lng mga kaluluwa nila na sana tumahimik at hwag na kaming takutin

2005-01-10T17:15:00.000-08:00

Slept early last night, told some fairy tales to my kid before she goes to sleep…routine na namin kasi yon. Sarap ng tulog ko until…
I heard some knocking sa may kwarto ni yaya which used to be my room. Mejo lumalakas na ang katok, I stood up and listen carefully kung san tlga nanggagaling yung ingay. Confirmed na sa my kwarto yon ni yaya don kasi ako banda nakahiga eh…I thought it’s around 430 or 5am na kasi ganon kaaga magising si yaya eh..when I looked at my celfone aba it’s only 3:30am..my gosh! Eto na naman bayun???!! Bigla ako napahiga ulet at nagtalukbong I prayed hard and ask for protection…promise! Scary yon! I was about to go out the room kasi nga palakas na ng palakas yung pagkatok. Haay when I finally said all the prayers (I guess) nawala na yung ingay and I fell asleep.

the existence

2005-01-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

i will never forget
the days we once had.
the days when you were
everything to me.

my mind used to tell me that
we'd be together forever
but now i realize that was
all a big dream.which makes my heart shatters
into a milli0n pieces.

i sometimes wonder if y0u,
still think of me
and love me or if to you
i'm just a face in a crowd.
i wish so very much that one day
we can have it all back.

but for now, i sit here silently
rememberin' all the memories we once shared.

hoping that one day you
will feel the same and
put back the pieces of my
broken heart

your existence is what makes
mine.
now, if love is painful and
tortures us so..

why do we love?
why is it all we search for in life?
this pain, this agony?
why is it all we long for?
this torture, this powerful
death of self?

maybe because its love

bagong taon..

2005-01-01T19:23:00.000-08:00

January 1, 2005..Happy New Year sa lahat! Ayun, ayos naman ang pagsalubong ng bagong taon..kausap naming sila mader sa internet..iba na tlga panahon ngyon hi-tech na..ayun at sinamahan kami sa pagsalubong sa bagong taon. Mejo nagaalboroto na nga lng anak ko..hehe inaantok na kasi. Ayun inaliw ko lng para atleast maabutan nya ang new year tlga! So after ilang minutes ng talunan at sigawan at pagiingay dinala ko na sya sa kwarto at pinatulog wala na at nagwawala na tlga!!!hehehe

Ayun mga 2:30 ata dumating ang randel sympre alone na ko non kasi nga asa party na mga kapatid ko..tapos mga past 3am inaya ako ni randel punta don sa pinagpapartyhan nila kuya para Makita ko lng mga ayos nila..costume party kasi eh..tapos nangokray lng don sa mga tao gang 4am at ako umuwi na.bangenge na kasi eh

Ok na sana lahat..saya ng gising ko at ok naman steady at tahimik..ayun may nagparamdam..nagaaya manood ng movie, aba ok lng sana kaya lng di raw nya ko sunduin, meet na lng kami festival mall. Ay gentleman di ba?! So nagdalawang isip ako..take note anong oras na nagaya di ba mga 7pm tapos mga 9pm pa raw sya makakarating kasi nga taga q.c. pa..tapos di ako susunduin ayos di ba?! So sabi ko hintay ko na lng randel kung punta cge meet namin sya…tapos ayun dami ng sinabi na kesyo late na sya makakapunta..so sabi ko hwag na lng. Tapos sabi nya cge southmall na lng daw kami meet para malapit tska ngayon na raw..hello kahit lapitan pa nya eh anong oras pa rin sya makakarating..so sabi ko punta na lng sya ditto haus tapos kung gusto lumabas atleast may kasama na ko paalis. At tska malamang kahit last full show di na naming maabutan. So ayun, wala napikon lng ako at kesyo kailangan pa raw ako sunduin eh kaya ko naman daw umalis magisa…haay pota! Di ganitong klaseng lalaki ang gusto ko maging boyfriend noh?! Konting effort naman at pagkagentleman. Eh buti sana kung nakikipagkaibigan ka lng eh kaya lng…haay baka nga nakikipagkaibigan lng kaya ganon mejo assuming lng ako na nanliligaw. Haay mga lalaki nga naman. Kakawalng gana tuloy. So ang ending, binaba ko na ang phone bago ako matuluyan magalit sa kanya. Kapikon kasi. Ay naku eto nagpabili na tuloy ako ng isp para maginternet na lng matutuwa pa ko…ayan ikaw tuloy laman ng blog ko..bwiset!!!mukhang sablay na naman nirereto mo Del!!!pasaway eh...ay sya ayoko daw magalit at baka pumanget lng ako..hehehe ayan smile na ko.

2004-12-30T11:27:00.000-08:00

Last Tuesday (dec 28) was fun…watched a movie with Randel and Drew.Mega eskapo ako sa office ng 4pm. Sympre nagwagi kami ni randel na “so happy together” ang panoorin..movie namin ni randel yon eh..hehehe sana nga maging ganon kami ni randl hanggang sa tumanda na kami. It was a funny story about “real friendship”…mareko, thanks for being a real true friend!mwah! After watching kinuha ko lng gamit ko sa office then eat lng dinner tapos went home na. Sarap ng feeling to be with my bestfriend and soon to be boyfriend????!!!!hehehe

Ayun, eto magkasama ulet kami kahapon minus Drew syempre at kasalukuyan yon asa opisina,at sympre leave na ko khit na inaway na naman ako ng lintik kong boss sa txt...so we went to buy some stuff for my michigirl at sya naman nagpapakagood Kuya to his lil sister Rochelle and dear bunso Rowell…ayun sympre mega ikot kami sa Southmall at ayun daming sale. Gusto ko sana bili si Michi ng aquarium kasi wish nya yon matagal na..kya lng di ko pa nakukuha pera ko..so next tym na lng my dear daughter…o sya Happy New Year sa lhat!!!

2004-12-28T10:58:00.000-08:00

the boys...

kapamilya ko...

nagdaang pasko...

2004-12-28T10:49:00.000-08:00

Mga nangyari nung pasko..syempre christmas eve, mega luto lng ako..buti na lng around 8pm tapos na lahat ng lulutuin… thanks to chef randel sa mga recipe. Sa new year ulet ano naman ang pwede..bawal ang chicken syempre!

Di ko naramdaman ang pasko…parang ordinary day lng…masaya ako para baby ko at dami nyang regalo ayun di mapakale kung alin ang uunahin na laruin. Kaya 2am na natulog. Ako rin nakatulog na rin habang pinapatulog sya nakalimutan ko na itxt si randel..hehehe ayun nagising ako around 4 am txt ko randel buti andon pa hehehe pero umuwi na rin agad at puyat ever na.

Dec 25, pasko na! nagsimba lng kami ng anak ko tapos nagaya na kami na punta sa lola ko sa cainta. Stay lng don hanggang 5pm tapos uwi na rin..dapat manonood pa ng Manila Filmfest...tradition namin magkakapatid yon eh. May isang movie kami papanoorin na magkakasama..syempre mga pagod na kaya di na natuloy.

Dec 26, nagayaan na manood ng movie...Enteng Kabisote...for 620pm na ang nakuha namin ticket sold out na eh so nagsimba na lng muna kami. Hehehe sarap feeling magkakasama kaming 3, bonding ever. After manood bili lng ng fud ayun uwi na at naghihintay na chikiting ko.

Dec 27, walang mgawa so chat lng lagi kina papa at mama tapos ayun, online ang juvy nagkaayan mag coffee…so mga 5pm dumating sila sa bhay syempre larga na kaming 3(juvy, randel, ako). Tambay sa SBC, town center, yosi konti inom ng coffee…tapos uwian na…pero food trip muna sa isawan sa may pilar…aba ang sarap h?! dami ko nakain…balik ulet tyo don!!!!

Dec 28, eto nakaupo sa tapat ng computer ko, pretending na nagtatrabaho…katamad!buset kasi itong boss ko at pinapasok pa ko.dapat nakaleave na ko eh.haay anyways, hintay k o uwian at manonood kami ni randel ng Happy together…bagay sa amin yon eh!!!hehehehe sayang di mkakasama ang juvy. Nood na lng tayo ng Mano po …hehehehe

2004-12-23T11:05:00.000-08:00

Had fun last night…bday ng nigel ni juvy!sarap ng food at unlimited videoke ito…syempre di ako umuwi ng di kumakanta..mejo hiya pa nung una..dami kasing tao tapos syempre di ko naman kilala yon noh?! Tapos may ngaasar pa habang kumakanta ka…hmp! Britney spears pala huh?!para syo kaya yung kanta ko!!!hahahahaha
Ayun 2am na umuwi ang lola mo kaya eto late ako dito sa office at 9 na ko dumating pano ba naman 7am na ko nagising buti na lng...wala naman trabaho ngayon kainan lng..mejo petiks pero update ko lng yung isang template dito office. Haay sarap umuwi at matulog...
Ang saya tlga kgbe..ang galing pa kumanta nung isang friend nila grabe kakaenlab boses nung kumanta ng ”One in a million you”...hehehehe lalo na yung closer you and i.mahal ko na yon!!!!=) haay saya khpon kulet ng mga kasama ko, juvy, romel at randel sama-sama tyo ulet!ok tandem natin.naks!

2004-12-20T10:11:00.000-08:00

Ay kwento ko lng yung xmas party nmin nung Friday…wala lng. Videoke queen ako eh!hahahaha ang saya lng kasi mega kanta ako tapos entertain naman sila ay ayun naaliw at daming request mega kanta pa rin khit din a abot cge taas lng ng kamay ok na…hehehehe first time ko rin kasi sila nkasama ng gnon at first time nila ako narinig kumanta…susko…kung kelan inuubo ang lola eh saka naman napasubo sa kantahan. Pero carry lng..professional naman..hehehehe purihin ko daw ba sarili ko..baket? blog ko ‘to. Pasensya kyo..hahahaha

Ayun, so grabe record breaker ako 2:30 na ko umuwi diba?! so mga 3am asa house na ko…aba totoo yan umalis ako ng fort 2:30 at nakarating ako sa house nmin ng 3am..san ka?!ikaw na mging taxi driver.hahahaha susko nagdadasal kya ako pauwi non. Grabe lipad kung lipad diba?! Haay buti na lng buhay pa ko ngayon…mygosh ngiisip na nga ako ng last will and testament ko nung araw na yon h?! Hehehe

2004-12-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

Successful dinner with my friends…randel, jai, juvy and nigel was there. Sarap ng food grabe galing mo tlga master chef!!!i had fun!ewan ko lng sa mga kasama ko mejo matmlay eh..mukhang pgod lhat…si jai na ang bagong videoke queen..kantahan tyo ulet mare! Tapos ayun, nagkaayan lumabas na lng. Eh since ktxt ko naman si gino, sabi ko kay juvy don na lng kami punta tska andon ang veth din tapos inaya na rin me gino don…kaya lng di kami masydo ngstay don kasi kailangan ng umuwi ni jai tska gusto din umalis na nila juvy at gumimik…sama pa sana ako after kya lng nkauwi na kami sa haus eh tska bka bumingo na ko sa kuya ko.hehehe mejo pgod na rin naman at nung Thursday pa ko gumagala. Pero ok lng naman…masaya ako that night. Sana maulit…hehehe

2004-12-15T15:19:00.000-08:00

Up to what point will you trust a friend? What if you found out that the friend you trusted most was a big lie all along. There are a lot of things bothering me right now…I don’t know what to think right now. I don’t know if I should just let it pass…forget about it and just be careful next time. Sayang lng…may mga bagay na dina pwedeng sabihin tuloy sayo…nakakatakot kasi akala ko naiintindihan mo ko. Yun pala ilalaglag mo lng ako…kakatakot, kakalungkot isipin…ayoko ng marinig explanation mo. O baka di ko lng naintindihan, namisinterpret ko o iba lng ang pagkakasabi mo. Gusto kong isipin na di ka ganon. Pero wala eh, nasira na tiwala ko...meron pa naman, kaya lng may lamat na. Gusto ko lng malaman mo, di ako galit syo kasi kaibigan kita...pero nasaktan ako. Yun lng....=(

2004-12-14T11:31:00.000-08:00

sharing a beautiful song...kantahin ko sa kasal ko..hehehe naks!

Someone Like You
(Dr. Jekyll and Hyde Soundtrack)

I peer through windows,
Watch life go by,
Dream of tomorrow,
And wonder "why"?
The past is holding me,
Keeping life at bay,
I wander lost in yesterday,
Wanting to fly -But scared to try.

But if someone like you
Found someone like me,
Then suddenly Nothing would ever be the same!
My heart would take wing,
And I'd feel so alive -If someone like you Found me!

So many secrets
I've longed to share!
All I have needed
Is someone there,
To help me see a world
I've never seen before -A love to open every door,
To set me free,So I can soar!

If someone like you
Found someone like me,
Then suddenly Nothing would ever be the same!
There'd be a new way to live,
A new life to love,
If someone like you Found me!

Oh, if someone like you
Found someone like me,
Then suddenly Nothing would ever be the same!
My heart would take wing, And I'd feel so alive -If someone like you Loved me...
Loved me...Loved me!...

2004-12-13T10:43:00.000-08:00

haay we had a meeting last friday..the whole department. we'll be having another reorg. haay every year na lng ganito ang feeling. kakainis lng kasi kung kailan comfortable ka na sa work mo ayun mukhang malilipat ka na naman...well ok, new learnings at new exposure..pampaganda ng profile mo kasi magiging diverse ka. yun yung sabi nila...ok din at baka iba na maging boss ko...eh pano kung mas worse pa pala sa ngayon ang mapuntahan ko di ba?! ok din kung higher level yung position na malilipatan mo instant promotion yon...sana di ba?! pero kakapagod lng daming adjustments...every year na lng ganito...di na naging stable work ko. haay, may isa pang option..baka icombine na lng work ko at work nung secretary dito...mygosh eh yung work ko nga di ko magawa lhat di ba?!dagdagan pa...at isa pa di ko raw gusto maging secretary. di naman sa minamaliit ko mga secretary kaya lang di ko tlga gusto yung magreserve ng restaurants, magbook ng mga travels at kulang na lng magtimpla ng kape para sa lahat di ba?! sorry di ko lng tlga gusto yung ganon. la lng...kung may choice lng na pwedeng di magwork siguro nagfile na ko ng resignation. Ewan ko ba…iniisip ko na lng swerte pa rin ako kasi atleast ako may work pa. pero la lang kakatamad lng kasi pag naiisip ko na ganito lagi ang takbo ng department na napupunthan ko. O sya business as usual daw so back to work na muna. Haay information bank ba ako at lahat ng tao ditto sa akin nagtatanong.

2004-12-10T19:17:00.000-08:00

Had some coffee last night with Juvy, Randel, Drew and Jai. Ayun, we decided to pushed thru sa Dec 18 at wala ng ibang date na pwede eh. Nagsuggest na rin ng mga lulutuin, baka maghatihati na lng sa gastos. O diba party to the max ito...naks! excited na ko!!!yihee!!!
La lng kwentuhan to the max kagabe..sarap lng magrelax at makasama makukulet na friends. Syempre napagtripan na interviewhin si Drew.ayun mejo napakain bigla ng cookie. Natense ata ang lolo…hehehehe at ang juvy mega practice at tanong ng mga tips para sa assessment nya today. Sana lng may natutunan ka girl sa amin.eh puro tawa ginawa natin at kulitan. Haay sarap lng ng ganon…petiks sa work ng buong umaga tapos pagdating ng hapon meet mga friends na lukaret at coffee lng. Hehehehe
Eto ngayon, tinatamad magtrabaho, nagiisip sa mga bagay bagay na natuklasan ko, mga ngyari sa buhay ko this year. Nagpeprepare para sa bagong taon na darating…naks!!!hahahaha ang baduuuuy!!!!
Daming agenda ngayon December...sana nga makapunta ko sa lahat ng parties/gimik na ininvite ako. Kainis sarap na sana magbakasyon, magshopping at pahinga at ipamper ang sarile kaya lng...haay!
Ay ayun, tumawag si ”hiram” la lang...mejo kilig pa rin ng konti....nangangamusta..mega kwento sa ngyayari sa kanya...kakamiss lng...

2004-12-09T13:12:00.000-08:00

Planning for a party next week, Dec 18…xmas party ito…hehehe kaya lng ang mareng sherveth di daw pwede. May lakad daw sila ng 2D group nya. Naks! Well, cge pagplanuhan na lng namin maya nila randel kung kelan tlga iset yang party natin. Sayang sana mas ok kung next week na eh kasi after that Pasko na di ba?! Ayun ako nagiisip na rin anong gagawin sa pasko…kakalungkot ulet kasi wala si mader…syempre kanya kanya na naman after ng noche buena. Haaay! O sya yung lng…baka umiyak pa ko dito eh masaya nga me diba?! la lang alam ko lng na may nagpapasaya sa akin ngayon..hihihihihi

2004-12-08T21:37:00.000-08:00

Immaculate Conception…went to mass had a silent talk with HIM. Dami ko ng kasalanan. Di ko maintindihan yung feeling kagabe. Wanted to cry kya lng daming tao. Maybe He’s trying to comfort me dhil alam nya na ang dami kong problema ngayon and all I want is someone to cry on.Syempre wla akong ksama kya,pigilin na lng ang pagcry. I know He has forgiven me with all the sins I’ve committed. And I’m really sorry for it.

Prayed also to Mama Mary…ask for her guidance and blessing. Sabi ko all I need right now is a mother to take care of me and make me strong to every trials I’m encountering right now. O dib a serious ako ngayon sa blog ko. I realized that I’m not alone and I won’t be alone. I want to fix myself and face the world with a smile. Atleast, now I can smile, true smile…not just to hide the sadness in my eyes.

Thanks.I know i'll be happy na...i know i am...

2004-12-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

happy birthday Drew!!!!

la lng gusto lng sya igreet...hehehe thizisit!!!!

2004-12-04T10:17:00.000-08:00

ayun, ibang gabi ulet kagbe...una syempre di ako pumasok dhil nga nung isang araw eh may bgyo at walang kuryente sa amin magdamag mega paypay ako sa anak ko...syempre para may gawin ako nagpunta na lng kami sa southmall ng anak ko bilhan ko sana sya ng sapatos eh ayun wala na raw size para sa knya kaya mega ikot na lng kami don atleast naipasyal ko sya di ba...naku kailangan na tlga matuto magdrive para sa susunod kahit san pwede ko na sya madala...(tagal ko na 'to sinasabi..susko magaral na nga tlga...sna)

so ayun nga sinundo ako khpon ni jess punta kami burol ng lola ni cherry...syempre di nya expect yon at ako rin nman kgbe ko lng kasi nlaman...e2ng frend ko na 'to tgal na nmin di ngkikta at di ngsasama dami na kasi ngyari...well ako, gus2 ko lng maging friend sa lhat.la lng namimiss ko lng yung times na di pa magulo sitwasyon. sad sad sad...pero ganon tlga...may mga pngyayari na di mo inaasahan.

tapos ayun, ngpunta kmi sa FIGARO sa may Brittany Bay oha first time ko ngpunta don may minit kasi si jess na friends nya naksabay umuwi...at san ka mega yosi ang lola mo don hehehe isang stick lng nman kasi naubos na ang orange flavored na yosi...san ka?! ay naku, bka mgalit na si "secret lover" hahahahaha as if...sabi nya kasi tama na raw ang pagyosi sayang daw lips ko...watiiiiiz!!!!uuuuuuuuyyyy!!!la lang aba kakamiss din ang loko h?!tgal ko na di nakikita yon...cge nxt post ko..sya naman ikwekwento ko...oist "secret lover" tag ka na ulet...(hehehe pilitin daw b?!)as if ngbabasa nito eh...

obvious na wala na akong mkwento...la lng naalala ko lng mga happy memories.

friday night...

2004-11-27T21:08:00.000-08:00

A different Friday night…after a few months of avoiding this guy..hehehe…finally I met him up and it was not a bad idea after all…I had fun!

It was really a different night for me…1st, I was able to shop a little while waiting for him..finally nakapag-ikot ikot ako and bought something for myself. It’s about time and I’ll being doing it again next week..naks! 2nd, ayun, I met him sa tower records then we visited my bestfriend randel sa oakwood ayun special guest kami syempre at sa amin ang buong game room..syempre pampered with free bottomless icedtea, chips and blueberry cheesecake…wow!sarap di ba?! Dapat bibigyan pa kami ng sandwich pero tumanggi na ko kasi kailangan kong bumawi don sa guy na kasama ko..hehehe so ayun, umalis na kami at nakakaistorbo na kami sa trabaho ni randel hehehe…mega dinner muna kami bago kami pumunta sa show na papanoorin namin…

Eto na, ayun we went straight to greenbelt where the show will be held. Ofcourse I’m expecting it to be different... Launching kasi ng PONY a new brand of shoes. At ang mga special guests sa launching concert are the URBAN DUB and THE BARBS…oha?!punk ba ito???!!! I thought I won’t enjoy it.sabi ko uwi ako agad nahihiya lng kasi ako kay drew…pero ok lng naman pala…lalo na when I heard Urban Dub played..galing nila promise! Di naman ganon pala kaingay..hehehe tska ok yung melody and some of the lyrics na narinig ko..hehehe cool pa yung girl na bassist nila. Asteeg sobra!!! And for me mas ok sila kesa sa “the barbs” mejo punk na tlga kasi yon eh maingay na tska pareparehas yung tono ng kinanta nila…hehehe kya after 4 songs nag-aya na ko umuwi and besides, 11:30 na non eh imimit ko na si randel as sasabay ako pauwi
O di ba different Friday night tlga…sobrang sarap ng feeling!!!hehehe so I’m thinking kung sasama ba ako ulet sa knya next week inaaya nya kasi ako to watch rivermaya naman..hmmm…tama ba ito???!!! Di naman sya ganon kagwapo, ang payat kasi eh..hehehe pero ang catch don…he’s totally SINGLE!!!well anyways…sabi ko nga new life ahead…malay natin di ba?!

wanted: html expert

2004-11-26T15:48:00.000-08:00

o di ba maghapon kong ginagawa tong blog ko....di ko alam kung ano naging problem at ayaw umandar ng sabay nung cursor at nung "array" sa baba ng web page(di ko alam tawag eh)...nung una gumana lng yung cursor tapos nung inadjust ko yung array nga yun lng gumana pero nawala naman yung cursor...haay...di ko naman alam kung ano nagalaw ko.huhuhuhu....

sa mga html expert dyan....baka pwede nyo kong tulungan at pakicheck yung mga code ko...hehehehe la lng nahihilo na kasi ako eh.

obvious na ayaw kong magtrabaho di ba at puro blog ako...hahahaha la lng..nageenjoy lng habang walang bossing.

2004-11-26T08:35:00.000-08:00

sa wakas last day of "working week". hopefully a brighter week ahead naman. long weekend so sana makapagpahinga rin ako. pero this coming weekend eh mejo may changes...isa na ron ang pagdating na gf ng kuya ko sa haus...kakapanibago lng. well, i know she's nice pero wala lng iba pa rin kasi yung dating kami lng andon. pero i have to live with it. haaay!

but for now, work muna ko..hehehe

2004-11-25T16:28:00.000-08:00

Finally I was able to fix my blog…dami pa rin aayusin pero for now ok na muna ‘to. May mga script na di gumagana, at di ko kasi alam kung san ang mali…hehehe well, eto balik black background maybe because of the things that’s happening…sabi ko new life ahead..hopefully a brighter one.

Actually, I’m trying to make myself busy with a lot of things. Although I’m loaded with my work still I’m trying to relax by fixing this blog. I really don’t know what to feel right now. It’s just so sad na sunod sunod ang ngyayaring di maganda sa akin. First, I’m still recuperating from the fact that I have to move on and leave the “hiram” thing, tapos eto wala na ulet si mama…haay ako na naman ang mega intindi sa haus at ang malupet na ngyari eh…my kuya is getting married dahil nabuntis ang gf nya…haaay tlga naman…

Result of that incident, I had an argument with my brother…syempre I was misunderstood!!!hirap magpalaki ng kuya!!!mygosh!well, naawa na naman ako sa parents ko…got to chat with mama this morning ayun, di makatulog may jetlag pa ata…well ofcourse they’re both disappointed sa ngyari. Ewan ko hirap explain ang feeling ko. Well babies are blessing like when I had michi…pero if only I had a chance to erase something in my life it’s the time na ngyari yon. But ofcourse I’m just looking at the brighter side, syempre blessing sa akin baby ko. Pero I know I would have been more “successful” with my plans kung di ngyari yon. Dami rin kasing negative things ang pagiging single parent noh?! Well ayun nga, next week yung gf ni kuya will be living with us na. ok naman sya actually pero nakakadisappoint lng. Syempre kahit na anong sabihin pa nila na nothing will change with the support he’s giving to us eh syempre iba na yung may sariling pamilya ka na…and I think di alam yon ng kuya ko.

Well, ayoko na maging sad muna…been crying for days already so tama na muna yon. All I have to do now is arrange everything na kakailanganin ko and pursue with my plans for next year. Aynaku, di man sabihin ng mama’t papa ko I know that they’re depending on me na lang at syempre kay mark…haay!

update lng...

2004-11-22T14:33:00.000-08:00

Break time…so I’ve decided I should update my blog already…sobrang lag na kasi.sensha na po at mejo sunod sunod kasi ngyari for the past weeks. Nung 2 weeks ago kasi mejo naospital po ako. Hay susko!sinusumpa ko ang magka-allergy at kasama na don ang “steroids”.grabe first tym kong magka-allergy sobrang lala pa. Tama bang 5 tusok ang ginawa sa akin 3 injections-yung isa sablay at nagcollapse yung vein na sinaksakan nila, tapos 2 try para sa dextrose na hindi ko alam baket ako pinalagyan non. Grabe yon kakatrauma tlga magkasakit. So ayun dirediretso bakasyon ko. Tapos last week, nag-discovery ako, parang orientation yon for the new employees..hehehe opo isang taon na kong regular pero ngayon lng ako aattend non kasi di ako pinayagan before , kya ayun. Actually ngayon, mejo busy din ako kasi kailangan mag-update ng mga reports at data. Mag mamonth end na ulet eh di ko pa tapos mga October reports. Kaya ayun dami ko ng memo galing sa mga bossing. Sorree lng di ba?! Ay naku actually dami ng ngyari at dami ko ng gustong ikwento kya lng...hanap muna ko ng bagong template at nawawalan ako ng gana pagnkikita ko tong template ko.hehehehe

i miss you...

2004-11-04T10:30:00.000-08:00

It has been 2 weeks since we last saw each other…that night that made me realize that I was really falling for you…that night I also knew that it was never me you wanted to be with…that I can never have you and that I have to stop this whole thing.

Almost a year now from the first time we went out…just the 2 of us. Almost a year now when you held me in your arms and had those sweet moments together…now I’ve been thinking that it was all a big mistake…but then, I’ll treasure those special moments we had. I honestly miss you and it hurts me so much to let go of you…I never regret any moment I was with you. It was not a mistake after all…it just happened that I met you at the wrong time…everything was perfect for me. I miss every moment you made me smile, when you just hold my hands making me feel that everything will be fine…kiss me on the forehead and whisper those “words” to me…just can’t help but cry…coz I know it was not real, but I just have to pretend that you really mean it and just cherish that moment…miss the time when it was just me and you, like it’s as if nothing’s wrong and that you’re mine and that you’ll be mine forever…thanks for making me feel that I was special.

I miss you…

i don't wanna be your friend/broken vow

2004-10-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

Just sharing these 2 songs....

still looking for Nina's new single....sigh! bwiset kasi tong network namin daming nilagyan ng firewall....anyways, ganda tlga ng mga song ni nina...swak!

I Don't Want To Be Your Friend

I don't wanna see your face
I don't wanna hear your name
I don't wanna thing
Just stay away baby
Don't wanna know if you're alright
Or what you're doin' with your life
Don't wanna hear that you'll stay in touch baby
I'll get by just fine
And if you're goin' then darlin'
Goodbye, goodbye
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
Don't think that I care I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend I'll forget we ever met
I'll forget I ever let
Ever let you into this heart of mine baby
You just gotta let me be
You gotta keep away from me '
Cause all I want is just to be free from you baby
Don't you come around
And say you still care about me
Just go now, go now
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
Don't think that I care
I'm not over you yet
And I don't wanna be your friend
You take it casually, and baby it's killing me
I'll get by just fine
So if you're goin' then darlin' goodbye, goodbye
Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
Don't expect me to be there
Don't think that it will be the way it was before
No baby Don't call me in the middle of the night no more
I'm not over you yet
And I don't want to be your friend
I don't want to be your friend
Don't call me
Don't come around
Don't wanna be your friend...

here's another song that i keep on listening this past few days...senti mode pero i'm ok now...it's been a week na di ko sya nakikita pero he still send text messages na ayoko ng sagutin minsan...he called once like there's nothing wrong...ganon lng tlga kasi...dpat wala lng...hapi thots lng dpat....for the last time....

Broken Vow
by : Lara Fabian

Tell me her name
I want to know
The way she looks
And where you go
I need to see her face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end
Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
When I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

Chorus: I'll let you goI'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go Now that I found
A way to keep somehow More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

Repeat chorus

I close my eyes And dream of you and I
And then I realize There's more to life than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes
I'd give away my soul To hold you once again
And never let this promise end

Repeat chorus

..can't say i love you..

2004-10-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

i was looking for the new single of Nina(i don't want to be your friend) but i saw this instead...nice song share ko lng.

Can’t say I love You

Hey baby, we just met I have him
You have her If we fall for each other
Would it be unfair
Loving one another this way
You see I love him so much
And you love her too
But baby when I met you
I felt love so true
Can’t say that I love you
But I do Cant say that I miss you
Though its true
Sometimes I feel I wanna kiss you
And hold you in my arms so tight
But all I can do is stop myself
From loving you
If only if I have met you before
When no one else is knockin on my door
I’ll let you in to my heart
Then maybe that’s the start
Of a promise that will never be part
But if you and me are not meant to be
Let’ just set each other free
Let it be
And if you and me together
Means forever
Then let’s take the chance
And build this romance
But if lovin each other
Would only mean never
Let fate bring our back to our lovers
Who promised us forever

new chapter...

2004-10-26T18:01:00.000-07:00

I was able to edit my template…actually kahapon pa ko nagrerevise ng mga html kya lng nageerror pag preview ko..hehehe so sabi ko ngayon nga kakareerin ko na..atlast…naayos ko na rin nlgay ko ng mga links, tagboard atbp…mejo di ko pa nababago mga font size at colors pero tomorrow everything will be perfect!naks as if…hehehe may gusto pa ko gawin pero pagaaralan ko muna.

i’m happy with my blog…grabe kailangan akong mgcrash course bout this whole html thing…kakaaliw din kasi. Cguro pagntuto ako nito my blog will be better…hahahaha asa pa ko…pero konting tyaga lng.

this will be a new chapter for my blog...naks! finally i'm ok..wateeez ambiles! pero i know i'm happy now. mas ok ako ngayon...sabi ko nga ayoko ng magisip ng malungkot eh..dpat happy thots na lng muna.

i'll be fine...

2004-10-24T16:01:00.000-07:00

ayun!..we we're supposed to go to the mentor program pero ngyari nal8 ako ng dating...kya nagtagaytay na lang ang sex and the city girls! sa wkas buo na ang tropahan! ang sarap ng feeling..sobrang nagenjoy ako!kahit na mejo magstos pero ayun ok lng sulit nman. khit na ilang beses ako nabulol at nabibisya ang dating..ang pangeeet!!!!yikes!!! atleast kaht papano nkpagrelax at nakalbas sa realidad. ilang araw na rin naman kasi akong nawiwindang sa mga ngyayari...sa buhay ko...sa lhat!

i know i'll be fine. sabi nga nilng lhat sakin ddting din nman yung para sa akin.at sabi din ng friend kong guy, hangga't kaya ko pa lumabas sa sitwasyon na yon gawin ko na...bka kasi pgpinatagal ko pa lalo ako mahirapan lumabas.lalo lng ako masasaktan...sana lng madaling gawin..sana nga makayanan ko lhat. sana kaya ko syang iwasan na.pero sabi rin nman ng mareko, dpat lng kung gusto ko ituloy lhat, eh matutunan ko lng na mging manhid sa lhat ng bagay..ibig sabhin wla dpat ksamang feelings wlang attachments...wla lang dapat lahat. sbi nga di ba..."khit ako para syo ay isang hiram, at di dapat mgdamdam"sigh! kung anong meron cge lng. after non wla lang din dpat.

so eto try ko na isara na rin ang chapter ng buhay ko sa hiram ko. dpat ng itigil lhat ksi nga wlang kapupunthan...sya nga ayus lng sa buhay nya...ni 'di nga nya 'to naiisip di ba?! so dpat sa akin din wlang dating.dis sya affected dapat ganon din ako. daling sabhn, sna mdali rin gwin. but i know i'll be fine. sbi nmn sa akin ng friend kong guy eh marami pang darating sa buhay ko mghintay lng ako. di nmn tlga ako ngmamadali eh...ngkataon lng nga na sya nakapuno nung "emptiness" ng buhay ko. pero dpat nga idaan ko na lng sa tawa...kung andyan eh di slamat...pag nawla..salamat din at khit papano napasaya ka nya at nramdaman mo ulet yung kilig factor...hehehehe

alam ko i'll be over this...strong ako di ba?! di bagay sa akin 'tong gnito...brkada ko nga di naniniwlang nagigng mlungkot ako...hahaha tunay na clown ako eh...may happy face sa nakdrwing sa mukha pero pag binura mo na yon malungkot pala...

but i'll be fine...sa mga kaibigan ko...salamat!videoke ulet tyo!!!hahahahah

steady lng...

2004-10-22T15:35:00.000-07:00

o di ba sabi nga nila...dpat mging steady lng ako...pinasok ko 'to khit alam ko mga magiging consequences so dpat ready ako di ba?! dpat wla lng...o 2nd day ko na nagyosi..as usual di tlga me marunong. pero gus2 ko tlga matuto h?! well nakausap ko na yung friend kong guy about it...hmmm...naiintindhan daw nya ko at ako lng tlga makakapgdesisyon sa lhat...bsta hwag lng daw ako masydong attached don sa tao. kasi ako lng ang talo...oo nga nman, frm d start alam ko na ako lng ang talo eh...wala akong fallback pag naisipn na nya lumayo di ba?! haay alam ko nman ang tama at dpat gawn pero bat gnon ang hrap magdcide ang hrap gawn...cry na lng.

actually, ngparmdam na sya, tumwag sya kasi di ko sinasgot txt nya ayun ask nya kung may prblem daw ba?!kung galit daw ba ko?! sympre pacute, ask ko kung mern bng dpat iprblema o ikgalit...sbi ko rin wla lng...ayun kwen2 ng 2ngkol sa work nya at sbrang busy daw sya. ewan ko..ano ba dpat mramdman ko???! watiiizdizzz!!!

trying to be strong...

2004-10-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

"Go for the person who loves you. It is not wrong to love someone who belongs to someone else, but it is much better to love someone who could also love you in return."

i'm chatting with Samantha jones at yan ang sinabi nya....wohow!sapul!swak!pasok!at isang npklakas na Araaaaaaaaaaay!!!!sad cry uleeet!!!

eto another day to survive...syempre buong araw na di ngparmdam so luhaan akong umuwi kagbe...di na ko nanood ng game ng dept nmin kasi nwaln na me ng gana tska wla yung sasabyan namin. so ayun paguwi ko syempre kunwari ok ako sa house. ganon nman tlga ako eh...ayoko kasi na makikita nila na may prob ako. gus2 ko lage nila akong makikita na nkasmile at a very happy person. tska ktxt ko mare ko sabi nya kailngn ipakita na wla lng sakin yon. deadma ako di ba???!! at kailangn ko maging strong. kya e2 i'm trying to be strong...i'm trying to be happy and enjoy the day! buti n lng wlang tao ngyon dito haaay!!!petiks muna sa work...mya na yung yosi break...hahahahahaha ayan sabi ni mare hwag daw dalasan ang pagyosi at hwag sanayin...hehehe buti nga di ako inubo khapon...as if naman eh isang stick lng nayosi ko actually 5 puff lng...hahahaha

well, i'll be fine!!! this will pass...konting yosi...konting iyak(w/c gnwa ko n kgbe)...itulog mo kinabukasan wala na yan...tutal mali nman tlga eh di ba??!!

unleash tension...

2004-10-21T17:40:00.000-07:00

just had a yosi break with my friends...hahaha yosi??yup ayun as if 1st lesson ito sa pagyosi...i tried smoking before kaya lng di ko nagus2han mejo feeling ko ksi non hithit buga lng ako so ang panget di ba?! so ayun natetense kasi ang lola mo...mejo inikot ko lng naman buong glorietta para hanapin yung brand ng sigarilyo na yon...ok daw kasi lasa may flavor. hmmm...sana DJ mix na lng di ba?! eh gustong matry so ayun pati sa landmark umabot daw ako...hahahaha maalis lang ang tension....so ayun, wala rin ngyari wla akong nabili...buti na lng tumawag yung dati nmin ojt bingyan ako ng libreng isang pack..o san ka???!!kala mo naman tlga nagyoyosi...haay atleast i was able to unleashed the tension in me....hirap pala ng ganito...di pa ko nasanay di ba?! everytime naman na ganon eh nwawalang bgla ang hiram sa sirkulasyon.

so ang 1st lesson...kakatuwa kasi mga 5 puff lng ata ako eh ubos na yung yosi sa ihip ng hangin...at ilang beses din ako kinulit ni kris at malou kung baket daw naisipan ko bglang mgyosi...well wala lng pampaalis ng tension, ng mga sama ng loob, at kung ano ano pang gumugulo sa isip...siguro eto na nga yung ok na nadudulot ng yosi...sabi ko kasi magyoyosi lng ako pag nakita ko na yung ganda na naiidulot ng yosi. pero sympre di nman magiging madalas 'to pag natetense lng....hahahaha mukhang mapapadlas ata yon....hmmmm....shempre di ako ngkwnto sa knla sabe ko la akong lakas ng loob para ikwnto...hehehehe ayun sabi nga ni kris, eh dapat nagaya ako uminom para may lakas ng loob...pwede rin...next lesson...drinking session naman.....haaaaaay!!!!watiiiiizzzz!!!!!

eto di ko alam kung uwi na ba ko o ano....think think think...ayoko na...nababaliw ako...gusto ko ulet magyosi!!!!

hiram na sandali...

2004-10-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

" And tonight I give in to the feelings, Yes tonight I give in to the thrill of loving you, And tonight I give in to believing, You'll always stay in love this way"

so eto hiram na sandali na...ay buong araw akong kinikilig kasi nga napagusapan na magkikita kami ng hiram ko. alam ni carrie yon. pano wla akong nilagay sa txt kundi kilig..hahahaha o syempre binilisan ko tapusin mga reports at presentation at puntahan lhat ng meeting. grabe na ito para akong nagundergo sa extra challenge. well ayun na nga, around 6pm minit ko na sya...ayun nga, mgksma kami nung gabi pero saglit lng kasi dami ata sya problem sa work at di ko lam kung ano pa...sad! at nararamdaman ko na iba sya kagabi. bglang nwala lhat ng kilig ko nung buong araw....happy at naksama ko sya pero sad kasi bothered ako.

eto ngyon ako reality check ulet! di ko alam dpat kong marmdaman after. parng nadagdgan yung hihiraman ko. bumalik yung isa...haay mukhang bumabalik na sa katauhan ni Andrew si harry at babalikan ata si Margaret....haaay naiiyak ako...pero di dapat maging sad kasi dapat di ako makaramdam nito yung orig. well, sabi nya wala na raw yon. pero iba yung naramdaman ko eh...iba yung nakita ko sa mata nya...woooohh whatisz!!!!kahit gawin kong biro, slightly nahuhurt ako. natetense actually. pero sabi ko nga magkita sila para malaman nya di ba?! pero sabihin nya lng sa akin agad para alam ko gagwin ko after.

haay baket kasi kailangan manghiram...sana lang meron kasi na pwedeng maging akin na...at sana lng di ako nagfafall sa hiram di ba??!!sad...cry...luhaan na ito...huhuhuhuhu

stalker

2004-10-13T17:27:00.000-07:00

i've been watching this guy for days now...actually for weeks now. madalas ko kasi sya makasabay sa shuttle papuntang makati...hihihihi kilig! kya lng hanggang ngayon di ko alam name nya. hmm lagi ko lng sya nakakatabi, grabe ang bango nya pwamis! ang linis pa tlga lam mo yon ang ganda ng kamay at uy nakita ko na ngipin nya kumpleto din h?! kasi kahapon inaasar ako ng mga kaofficemates ko syempre nakwento ko na di ba?! hehehe sabi nila siguraduhin ko raw na ok yung guy tipong istalk ko na nga raw hwag daw ako bababa ng shuttle hangga't di sya nababa para malaman ko tlga san nagwowork at ano work nya. at since daw lagi kami magkatabi, dapat daw minsan tapatan ko lng para makita ko kung kumpleto daw ba ang ngipin o baka may hati ang labi, ngongo pala...at matinding hirit nila baka daw parehas kami ng hanap at biglang sabihin na..."ang ganda ng earrings mo h?!" haaay waaaag!fliiiiiz lng h?! haay pano ko kaya malalaman name nya??? kaya lang lagi syang natutulog so di ba deadma ang beauty ko...di umubra charm ko o pakipot lng sya...hahaha asa pa!!! minsan ko lng sya nakasabay pauwi so alam ko na sa casimiro sya nakitira pero shempre pa di ko alam san banda don noh?! haay mare! baka eto di ko na hihiramin, baka pwede na ito! dapat ko na nga lang malaman ang pangalan nya da ba?! hahahaha kelan kaya yon? hmmmm...

kya lng sabi nga ni mare...sana lang pagnakausap ko sya kasing ok sya nung "hiram" ko..ay syet baket ganito??!! kailangan ko tlga icompare sya don...hmmm ano ba kasi pinakain sa akin nung lintek na yon at nagkakaganito ako (wacky california maki!!!! hahahahaha)....di ko naman pwedeng anikin! ay actually slight lng na pwede kailangan lang tlgang ibalik sa original. haay kaloka!

well mabalik don sa boylet...actually di naman sya ganon "kagwapo" ang bango bango lng nya tingnan actually mabango tlga sya hehehe kulang na nga lang langhapin ko sya everytime na makakatabi ko sya daba?! pero pero pero pano ko tlga sya makikilala hanggang tingin na lang tlga ako...ay kaasar tlga! well hopefully katulad sya ni .... hehehe hwag na lng banggitin ang name...hmmmm.

katuwa lng kaninang umaga ksabay ko ulet sya muntikan ko ng kuhanan ng pic kunwari ngtetxt lng ako hahahaha stalker na stalker na ito....kaya lang sagabal yung magshota sa pagitan namin...kainis!

ay baket ganon namimiss ko pa rin si "hiram" although nakausap ko sya di ko pa sya nakikita ulet...sad sad sad pero dapat panibagong post na sya di na sya bagay dito at di sya pang stalker..wehehehehe

hiram...

2004-10-11T13:40:00.000-07:00

mareko eto na yung lyrics ng kanta nating dalawa...cry cry cry....
grabe sapul! sakto ito mare...kakantahin ko na ito araw araw...hahahahaha!!!
grabe mahal???? enlab ba ito? di na naman sya nagpaparamdam..bat ganon....

"May isang umagang `di mo hahagkan
Ang mata kong `di ka magigisnan
Turuan mong ako'y h'wag masaktan
Kahit ako para sa `yo Ay `sang hiram
At hindi dapat magdamdam
Di mo lang alam na kahit pa mali
Naging langit ang bawa't sandali
Magmula nang halik mo'y dumampi
Pag-ibig mo pag-ibig ko kapwa hiram
Wala ka bang pakiramdam
Di ba ako'y tao lang na
Nadadarang at natutukso rin
Maiaalis mo ba sa `kin na matutuhan kang mahalin
Sa bawa't sandaling hiram natin
Di ba ako'y tao lang na
Nadadarang at natutukso rin
Maiaalis mo ba sa `kin na matutuhan kang mahalin
Sa bawa't sandaling hiram natin hah hoo
May isang umagang `di mo hahagkan
Ang mata kong `di ka magigisnan
Turuan mong ako'y h'wag masaktan
Kahit ako para sa `yo Ay `sang hiram
At hindi dapat magdamdam
O hiram na kung hiram bawa't saglit
Wala ako isa mang hinanakit
Basta't kapiling ka'y langit
Walang sa `yo ay papalit
Hinding-hindi ako sa `yo magdaramdam
Kahit hiram... Hiram "

...update

2004-10-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

it's been a while already since my last post..it's a busy week for me kasi month end na naman..the usual monthend reports at mega update ulet ng mga template. well, eto nga at kahit sunday, naguupdate ako para sa office mejo konti na lang ang aayusin ko. pag ganito kasing monthend sabay-sabay ang mga deadline ng reports so i have to manage my time para matapos in time. syempre di pa kasama yung mga isisingit na kailangan ng bossings.

ano nga ba ngyari for the past week? sobrang dami kasi nakalimutan ko na yung iba at di ko rin naman alam pano ikwento yung iba kasi nga marami..hahaha wala lang talaga akong masabi. ay basta saka ko na 'to update ng todo pag marami na ulet akong time. dami ko rin iniisip kasing gawin this month of october. haay! o sya update ko muna trabaho ko...dakila ito!!!!

pasaway na araw!!!

2004-09-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

Ay naku kung mamalasin ka nga naman…mga pasaway kasama ko dito sa opisina. Buti na lng ilang oras na lang at uwian na. Nabwibwisit na talaga ako! Kasi may pinapatest akong mga access sa kanila para sa system namin at maguupdate kasi kami. Aba 2 days ago ko pa binigay yon tapos ngayon di pa rin tapos...hello as if andameng transactions ang itetest nila. Haay naman kailangan ba talagang ipaalala lage sa kanila. Pota eto pang kasama ko, di ko alam kung slow, o tlagang gusto nya lang pahirapan sarile nya. Nakakainis na nga eh. Tama bang ulitulitin ko yung instruction sa kanya???? Ano ba di ba??? Shared kasi kame ng role dati eh ngayon pinaadopt ko lang tapos may binura at dinagdag lang akong ibang transactions abe daming tanong baket daw may ganon bat daw ganito…ay dib a kaya nga sabi ko sa email ilagay yung mga “feedbacks” heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllloooo!!! Duduguin na talaga ako syo!!!! E di kung di nya kailangan yung mga codes na yon eh di lagay nya sa email dib a???? haay naku naman talaga!

Well buti na lang at mejo maganda start ng umaga ko at nakatulong ako sa friends ko…sana pumasa sya sa exam at tawagan na sya for interview tapos ayun sya na kunin! katamad din lang at punta ko sa workshop kanina, aba’y wala naman din akong napala although maganda yung nirollout nila about sa bagong way ng pagkuha ng reports naming mas mapapabilis na trabaho ko.

Pag minamalas ka nga naman may mangiinis pa syo! Haysusko! May nagtext sa akin, aya nya ko watch concert tomorrow kinukulit me need na raw malaman sagot ko agad. So sabi ko next time na lang…tapos nung ako na nagtext para magtanong sa kanya..aba ayaw magreply ng gago!!! Tapos after ilang text ko sa knya…ang sagot lang, “sori akala ko kasi nagreply na ko eh” haaaaaaaaaaay!!!!talaga naman!!!!

O sya cge na muna hihinga muna kong malalim dito baka atakihin na ko eh!!!

...falling

2004-09-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

"..I tried to hide it, try not to show it. It's crazy how could it be...I'm falling for you, finally my heart gave in..."

"sigh!" alam ko may magrereact sa post kong ito...ewan ko ba sa tingin ko malas ata ako when it comes to "relationships" or so called "LOVE". haay naku sa mga nakakakilala sa akin, alam nila ito noh?! may mga iba siguro babatukan na ko sa mga ginawa at ginagawa ko...hehehe at yung iba naman tingin na sa akin "play girl" (duh?! kung alam lang nila) tipong walang pakialam sa "feelings" kala nila go with the flow lang ako, di nagseseryoso, ayaw ng commitment at kung ano ano pa!

Di naman sa ayaw ko ng commitment, maybe i'm just scared to be "attached" to that person. Mejo vulnerable kasi ako ngayon eh...madaling mag-fall. Basta maging super sweet ka lang sa akin at mapatawa mo ko..ok na tyo...mga tipong ganon. hehehe babaw lang ako eh soreee! Sa dami ba naman ng ngyari sa akin di ba sinong di matatakot..mygosh kung lalagay ko dito yon eh nobela na at baka di na rin basahin...hehehehe
naku noh?! akala nyo ba lagi kaya ako yung iniiwan...scary na tlga! may isa kinda imported ayun basta di na lang tumawag at pinasabi na lang sa pinsan na wala na kami...tapos yung isa matindi, ayun may baby ako(pero masaya naman ako at wala sya!!!)...meron naman nagparamdam ng "sweetness and everything" tapos nung nasabihan ng barkada, nagdisappearing act din! punyeta talaga mga lalaki! ay meron din di lang nakasama sa lakad eh nagwalk-out na at di na rin nagparamdam...hmmm...at ako pa daw ang nananakit!!!wawa naman ako!
meron din namang mga katangahan ang pinasok ko...hahaha mga "unlawful acts" kung tawagin ng mareko!
yung isa pinaasa lang ako, yung isa pinapaasa ko lang sarile ko...hahaha tanga din eh noh?!

well pero sabi nga ng mareko...dadating din yung para sa amin. magiging happy din kami!

"Someday my prince will come, someday I'll find my love, And how thrilling that moment will be When the prince of my dreams comes to me. He'll whisper "I love you" and steal a kiss or two. Though he's far away, I'll find my love someday, Someday when my dreams come true. Someday I'll find my love, someone to call my own, And I'll know her the moment we meet,For my heart will start skipping a beat. Someday we'll say and do things we've been longing to. Though she's far away, I'll find my love someday, Someday when my dreams come true."

share ko lng tong favorite kong kanta ngayon...

Falling-Keahiwai

I wanna tell you baby
You're the one that Im thinking of
But your heart is still with her
And I think she's the one that you love
I only want you happy
Even if it's not with me
Maybe one day
You'll open up your eyes and you'll see

[Chorus]
That I think I’m falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think I’m falling
Baby I’m falling for you

[Verse 2]
From the first time
You laid your lips on mine
It feels like the smile on my face
Will last till the end of time
But Im not so sure
That you're the one that I should pursue
My mind tells me no
But my heart only says that it's you

[Chorus]

Bridge:
Only time will tell
The mystery has yet to unfold
Who's gonna feel love's warmth
And the other left in the cold

[Chorus]
Yet still I'm falling
Maybe im falling for you yeah
I think Im falling
Baby I'm falling for you
That I think Im falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
yeah I think Im falling
Baby Im falling for you

***huwag na magtanong kung para kanino yan...la lang trip ko lang talga yan!!!feeling enlab eh!!hahahaha thanks joe!wahahaha

another week...

2004-09-20T01:15:00.000-07:00

Ang bilis ng araw…grabe lunes na naman. Parang di ko naramdaman ang weekend. Hmm. Wala naman kasi ako ginawa puro pagupdate lang ng blog..hehehe kaya di rin nakapagpost eh. Buti na lang andyan talaga si master bebe para mapabilis ang pagupdate ko ng blog. Ano nga ba ginawa ko during the weekends? Uhm...naging videoke queen pala ulet kasama ng aking ”best bunny” bday kasi ng kapatid nya ayun mega kanta, nakainom din kasi, langya painumin daw ba ko ng Strong Ice—syempre ang pula ko agad kasi naman di talaga ako umiinom kaya lang alam mo na kailangan din minsan makisama. Pero ok lang, dapat masanay din kahit papaano kahit isang bote lang. Kasi dito din sa office pag nagkayayaan di pwedeng di uminom kasi yung General Manager mismo magbibigay syo ng beer. Alam mo naman, sabi nga nung isang District Manager na nakausap namin, kung gusto namin tumagal sa isang company at mapabilis ang pag-angat dapat marunong kang mamolitika...o di ba?! Galing na sa manager yon...hmmm

O di ba kailangan ko talaga isingit sa trabaho ko ang pagblog..hehehe para naman maaliw ako kahit papaano noh?! Tska break time naman eh. Eto nga sinasabayan ko ang pagsearch sa internet ng mga trabaho sa ibang bansa. Kinukulit na kasi ako ng nanay ko na magapply na raw ako sa Canada tska sa New Zealand. Di naman ako tinataboy di ba?! Well syempre kasi nga dapat daw isipin ko na future namin mag-ina. Aba, iniisip ko naman eh...di na nga ako tumitigil sa paghanap ng additional income. Pati pagbenta ng mga cookies pinasok ko na. Tapos by next month umpisahan na namin ng marekong randel ang pagbenta ng mga cakes and other goodies. Plus yung business pa na gusto ng tatay ko. Oha?! Pero syempre sideline lang yon mas ok pa rin magwork kasi ditto may monthly income(yun nga lang maliit lang) since yung business eh di pa stable. O sha tama na muna ito…maya na ulet…

finally...

2004-09-17T17:46:00.000-07:00

finally...eto makakapagpost na...i was too busy working on my "blog", hehehe kinacareer ko ngayon 'to eh. well ofcourse thanks to the help of my new found friend...master bebe!!bow ako syo! mejo copy paste nga lang ako ng source nya eh.hahahaha...

well, i'm happy with my masterpiece..syempre for a beginner mejo feeling ko ok na 'to.(syempre pupurihin ko 'to) but ofcourse i still need to explore more. pero ayoko naman maging O.A. na sa design di ba?! gusto ko pag nakita nila tong blog ko sasabihin talaga nila na akin 'to....naks! :)

anyways, dahil sa blog na ito..nakalimutan ko magtrabaho..hahahaha nag-OT tuloy ako kagabi kasi buong umaga etong blog lang ginagawa ko nakalimutan ko na may hinihingi nga palang reports ang mga bosing dito. ayus!!! kaya ayun, mega download muna ko ng mga data kagabe at di na nakapagpost. well buti na lang friday na at pwede ng magconcentrate sa pagbablog.hahahaha... kaninang umaga, blog pa rin inatupag ko...kasi ang kumare ko kinukulet ako at nasira daw ang blog nya...ayun sa awa ng dyos, di ko nagawa..hahaha si master bebe lang kasi ang may powers don eh. ;) ayun so mamaya na lang daw nila aayusin. ako naman tinapos ko muna yung ibang reports ko dito at umattend ulet ng nakangbuging meeting(as usual la na naman akong naintindihan) pero in fairness huh?! nasagot ko mga tanong nila..aba bibo ata ito!! ;) kaya lang di ko maintindihan kasi yung mga taga singapore na yan..di ko alam kung nagtatanong ba sila kanina o naguusap-usap lang...kaya ayun deadma na ko sa iba.

o sya maya na ulet...mageexplore na ulet ako ng mga anik-anik na pwedeng ilagay dito...dami kong naiisip ilagay kaya lang mejo kailangan ko pang pagaralan pano gawin eh tska san hanapin.

sa mga nagtag..salamat! tag pa ulet kayo..hehehehe

what a lyf...

2004-09-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

see how my life here at work sucks...for three long years i've stayed here in this *#@!?# company, i was given a 'chance' to have a regular position last year. told myself 'thank God' finally...regular na ko. di ko na iisipin ang pagrenew renew ng contract sa agency. finally i'll get 'benefits' and a better status. yun ang akala ko... but unfortunately, after 2 months of probationary...the company had to undergo a "turn around" phase...kailangan mag-reorg! punyetang reorg yan...no choice ka! pag inofferan ka ng position dapat grab mo na yon at swerte ka daw dahil may trabaho ka pa! so yon ang nangyari...may nagoffer sa akin "business analyst" daw...mejo di clear yung offer kasi nga di naman dinescribe talaga yung job description...so ayun tinanggap ko as if i have a choice di ba?! kesa naman tanggapin ko yung offer sa visayas...January came iba na position ko...yung "business analyst" naging "admin. staff" (in short alipin). at yung trabaho ko di clear ang scope...parang IT na Auditor, na lahat na ng klase...name all the kinds of report sa isang management...sa akin yon! ako gagawa non. plus mega attend ng meetings pag wala boss mo or walang ibang makakaattend. at kahit wala kang alam don sa paguusapan...care nya noh?! basta may magrepresent ng dept. ok na yon! buti sana kung ok ang net pay mo...syempre pag regular ka na..dami ng deductions..lahat ata ng klaseng insurance binabayaran dito plus mga unions. pero syempre...di ka naman makakaangal kasi yung mismong boss mo magdadrama sayo na buti daw kami naincreasan eh samantalang sya hindi...heeeellllllooooooo....as if magkaparehas kami ng sweldo!!!! eh kahit may increase ako eh wala pa sa 1/4 ng sweldo nya sweldo ko eh. tapos eto pa!!! bawal ng magfile ng OT pay...syet! eh pano yan tong trabaho ko kailangan mag OT...kahit gaano ako kaaga pumasok di ko kakayanin tapusin lahat ng pinapagawa nila sa akin ng 8 hours noh?! cge fine! binigyan naman ako ng credit cardcompany card)...whoa! 50000 ang limit/month...ang saya di ba?! biruin mo may card ka tapos babayaran ng kumpanya...ang swerte noh?! loka! di mo gagamitin yon...display mo lang sa wallet mo! ang daming don'ts sa pag gamit non..dapat ang charge mo lang ot meals...at hanggang 500 lang/ot...pero dapat stay ka dito hanggang 7pm up...syempre bawal naman na araw araw di daw realistic na everyday kang ot. tapos sinabihan pa kami na magtipid...san ka pa di ba?!
o eto pa!sabi pag regular ka dami mong klaseng "leave" may vacation, sick, emergency at business leave. oha ang sarap noh?! biruin mo ang vacation leave mo sa isang taon, 16 days, sick leave=16 days plus BL=5 days. kailangan mo raw gamitin yon kasi di convertible into cash plus di na maeextend yon next yr. o di ba nakakatwa kahit papaano...pwedeng magbakasyon...hoy! magbakasyon ka na...at di daw convertible yan!"benefit" mo yan eh. ampota! pati sa leave dadaan ka sa butas ng karayom bago ka payagan...magfile ka ng sick leave tatawagan ka pa rin...pagtatrabahoin ka pa rin. maiinis pa sila kasi bigla kang di pumasok! syempre kahit wala ka ng sakit ngayon puro sick leave rason mo...naubos ko na ata lahat ng klaseng sakit...VL, 16 days yan lapit na matapos taon dapat magamit ko na...eto fresh pa....syempre wala akong boss ngayon andon sila sa cebu at punta rin ng davao...time to get a vacation syempre di ka makakapagbakasyon pag andito sila dahil lahat ng data hawak ko....so text ako sa kanya para iremind sa kanya na this friday leave ako...wow!!! sarap! excited na ko...sa wakas kahit overnight lang makakapagpahinga ako...swimming galore sana ako di ba?! ayun biglang nagbato ng email..."I won't be able to attend the meeting, Jinkee will attend instead"...pasooook!!!di ba nagsabi na ako na leave ako...haay deadma ba sa pagpapaalam ko...so syempre la akong magagawa di ba..iresched na lang ang lakad...next time na lang daw..mga after 10 years...pag manager na ko(asa pa!)
ang saya-saya noh?! sarap ng buhay ko dito. at pag nagpaalam kang magaapply ka ng higher position mejo ididiscourage ka nya...indirectly naman eh...kesyo ganito kesyo ganon...haay sarap!!!baet!
ay naku kahit ano pang galit ang maramdaman ko wala rin mangyayari di ba?! boss ko yon eh...=(

Tuesday alone...

2004-09-14T08:58:00.000-07:00

alone na ko here in my place...should i be happy about it???walang boss ofcourse!!!They'll be going to Davao then to Cebu to roll-out some processes...this is quite a boring day for me though, ang tahimik kasi ng lugar ko. wala akong kausap ngayon..walang makulet...kakatamad din magwork pag ganitong wala akong kasama.

i've been trying to update my blog...like put some tag board and stuff but i just can't figure how to place it well...i'll just ask my friend to help me out here.

so much for this...i'll go back to work muna....but before that i just want to share to you this song...

IF LOVE IS BLIND

People say that you're no good for me
People say it constantly
I hear it said so much I repeat it in my sleep
Maybe I am just a fool for you
Maybe you're no angel too
But all that talk is cheap
When IÂ´m alone with you

*CHORUS
If love is blind
I'll find my way with you
Cause I canÂ´t see myself
Not in love with you
If love is blind
I'll find my way with you

All the world is crazy anyway
What's the matter what they say
If I'm the one that's wrong
Then let in be my mistake

*CHORUS

You wouldn't be with me tonight if I didn't feel i was right
What will it matter anyhow a hundred years from now

*CHORUS

end...

2004-09-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

the day has come to an end... fear stays in my heart relentlessly . i don't know what to feel, what to do, how to decide on this. it makes me wonder..will i ever be happy? will i be happy after that? alot of questions bothering me...keeping it inside of me for sometime now. though i know the answer, i know the right thing to do but i just can't stay away from him. no, not now...been vulnerable about how he treated me..so special. like it was real. like as if he was mine...like as if he can be mine. i know, i'll be happy on that day but after that, confusion will linger...questions will remain unanswered. fear will again engulf my whole being. why does it have to be this way? you know the right thing to do is end it up, but why am i hurting...why do i feel so scared losing him. though i know for a fact that he was not mine and he will never be. but then again, what the heck! i'll just enjoy every moment with him. just have fun and forget the what if's...just face it after.

'sigh' all i want is to be happy...but why it's so hard to be one...=(

a new beginning...

2004-09-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

a new beginning...a new life..a way of therapy. let's uncover the truth in me...bare myself to you...discover the real inside of me...know what reality is.